Finding Home | Finders Keepers #1✔️

Thirty-Three - Like The Roommate

When I awoke, it was absolutely dark. The first thing that came to my mind was how the bed felt like the one I had back home and for a second, I had convinced myself that maybe I was back there. Though alone, it was still home.

Then, I had only moved an inch closer to the middle and I felt the bed dipped down beside me and how it was warm. Immediately, I knew it was Luke from the scent alone and from how I could hear his soft breathing as he slept. It was obvious that after I fainted, he took me back here, knowing that I wasn't up to being questioned by anyone if I was taken back at the Holland's house.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm kidding myself with whats happening. At this rate, I feel like I'm in a comedy show, and the comedian is making the joke about me. Because this time, it feels exactly that—that I'm the butt of the joke.

When my parents died, I'd only gotten used to having to spiral down into the rabbit hole like Alice did when she fell literally. Now, that Nathan's gone, I'd pushed myself to not spiral again, to not let the sadness sit in me for a long time.

Never drink. Never sulk. Never anything.

Maybe I just ignored all of it because I had all these distractions with me—the gang, Chloe, hell, even Luke.

Now that I'm here, I'm thrown into the reality that I don't have any of that even if one of them is beside me.

Alone. That's who I am.

For a while, in the dark, I imagine Luke's face and body. His hands gripping on the blanket above us, his usual hard blue eyes that stares into your soul is now soft, and how he's worn his shirt even though I knew that he wasn't comfortable with sleeping with it.

I can't help but think about how he's been here for me for the longest time. I expected him to walk away right as I was mourning because I was so used to being left alone.

When mom and dad died and I woke up from the God-awful coma, I found comfort in having to be alone. Right after I saw Kara and Jack, I'd closed myself off completely. Not even letting my brother in, no matter how many times he calmly tried.

I've felt abandoned by my parents, by my friend, and ex-boyfriend for the longest time and when I'd gotten past from my addiction, my safety blanket, I had found comfort within my brother.

Now that he's gone, I can't see him or talk to him. Many would argue that I still could if I went to his grave but what good will that do? All I would think is that he's six feet underground, rotting, and I would be enticed by the idea of having to sort back to alcohol again.

Shutting my eyes for a second, I breathe deeply before opening them back and pulling put my phone from my pocket.

Two text messages from a number I don't know.

Hey, Luke gave me your number I hope you don't mind. This is Jesse by the way. I hope you're okay.

I'm sorry about what happened. I shouldn't have ambushed you like that. I've just been meaning to talk to you and didn't know how I should go about it. If you're okay with talking, just text me. I won't change numbers, that way you can think about it really.

Jesse. Right. I did faint in front of him.

Accidentally pressing the power button, I open it again, noticing the time. It's only eleven twenty-two in the evening.