Thirty-Five - Bread and Perfect

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I woke up with the sound of Luke's alarm. I reach for it immediately and turn it off, my eyes still closed and when I came to place my head to his chest and wake him up, I was met by a soft pillow under me.

              My eyes open immediately, my mind still fuzzy from last night. Don't worry, nothing happened. We had only talked and talked and talked until we were tired and we just held one another until we both fell asleep. It was one of our best nights and I remember feeling relief washing over me like a wave from telling him how I've been ever since Nate's death.

              Of course, my initial answer to his question was "bad" but as he encouraged me to talk more about it, I let out my thoughts and feelings about it. How I was feeling like I needed to be punished for getting myself in that situation; and how every nightmare consistently tortures me by making me see him again as someone who take care of me, who made me laugh, and in the end, died for me. My parents', my brother's death now weighs on me and I wasn't denial about feeling how Luke might get hurt if he continues to be with me.

              "Don't ever think that," he shushes my silent sobs, kissing the top of my head. "We're both safe now. Even if we're not, you know that I can handle myself, right? Anything happens to me, it'd be my own doing and nothing else. You got that?"

              I didn't answer, so he cups my chin and forces me to look at his intense blue eyes.

              "You have got to stop thinking like this. You have to forgive yourself for what happened."

              I stayed silent still because I had no answer as to how I was going to start on that road or how would I even let myself be forgiven by me.

              Walking out of his room barefoot and only in his shirt, I make my way down to the dining room, still blinking and out of my mind. "Luke?"

              Right as I turn, I'm immediately taken aback by my friends who sat in front of me, mouth dropped open as they stare at me from head to toe. They stare at me and to Luke who sits beside Zach, and then to me again.

              "Woah," Alison's the first one to chuckle. "Nice night, Rose?"

              "Ew! Ew, ew, ew!" Caroline immediately covers her ears. "Whatever it is, I don't want to hear it!"

              Kevin and Zach hi-five one another and turns to Alison. "You owe us twenty. Cough it up, Ali."

              "Damn it!" Alison places her fork with pancake on it down to her plate and glares at me. "I just lost forty dollars, Rose. We were on a bet to see if you two would shag in the next three months. Couldn't even last a month, now, couldn't you?"

              I am very confused.

              As Alison reaches for her pocket, Luke immediately stands and points at Care. "Care, get those filthy hands off of your ear, we didn't do anything. She didn't have anything to wear so she used my shirt. Again." Then, she glares at three of my other friends. "And betting on our sex life isn't funny."

              Zach shrugs. "I find it funny. They did it to Kev and I so I get to do it with others too."

              Luke rolls his eyes, approaches me. He's already showered, hair disheveled, wearing a light-brown long-sleeved shirt, his top buttons undone, and ripped jeans. He looks like an Abercrombie model, and I think my heart just fluttered at the sight of him.

              He smiles at me, calmly. "Hey. Sorry, I wanted to wake you but I thought you could use the extra sleep since we were up late. You can freshen up and I'll just give you breakfast upstairs, if you want. We don't have to be there until lunch, right? He moved it?"

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