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Beyoncé

"Beyoncé! Beyoncé!"

I rolled my eyes at Jay and kept walking. I quickly made my way down to the bedroom and quietly shut the door behind me. If we were gonna fight, I'd rather it be in private where our kids, or the staff, can't hear us. We've both learned that whenever we're in public, whether it's on a yacht or on a red carpet, it doesn't matter if we think we have privacy because we don't. We always have to be careful. It's just something that comes with this life, and I value my privacy too much to not protect it.

The peace and quiet didn't last long. A few seconds later Jay was storming in the room, yelling his accusations at me. I took a deep breath before turning around to face him.

"Jay." I said calmly. He walked up to me and got in my face. "Please, calm down."

"Nah, don't give me that shit Beyoncé. The fuck you mean you cheated on me? Huh? What was that about?" Jay hissed. I stayed silent and took a step back. He took three steps forward and I sighed. "ANSWER ME BEYONCÉ! SHIT!"

"Stop yelling at me!" I snapped lowly. "You just gave me shit not that long ago about being too loud, the fuck are you doing right now?"

Jay glared at me and moved back. "I wouldn't have to yell if you would answer my god damn question. I'm not gon' ask you again. What the fuck were you talking about? Don't lie now."

I felt tears stinging my eyes and shook my head. I wrapped my arms protectively around myself and ignored Jay's harsh words.

"You can cut all that crying out Beyoncé. I don't give a shit if your feelings are hurt or not. Right now I want the truth, why the hell is that so hard to understand?" Jay grabbed my arm and I didn't fight him off. He pulled me closer to him so that our chests were touching. "What's happening to us?" He asked softly. He tried touching my face but I slapped his hand away.

"I didn't cheat on you!" I yelled in his face. He stared at me carefully as I continued. "I didn't cheat Shawn, I would never do that to you. Remember our wedding vows? The ones you broke?" I laughed bitterly and shook my head. "But like I said before, I didn't cheat on you. So you can get out of your feelings and leave me the hell alone!"

"Why the hell did you say it then? That ain't something to play around with!" Jay yelled back. He tried grabbing me again but I pushed him off.

"Because I'm tired of you throwing it in my fucking face! Do you realize how much that hurts me?! Knowing you did that to me?! I don't need a fucking reminder every time we argue Shawn! Why is that so hard to understand?!" I screamed. Jay's face changed and I felt the angry tears running down my cheeks. "How did it feel thinking, for a split second, that I would betray you like that? Huh? How did it feel?! Now you know how I feel every fucking time you pull some shit like that! Stop it!"

I was so upset my chest was heaving up and down. I stared at Jay and waited for his response as I cried harder. The only reason I said that I cheated was because I wanted Jay to feel it. That pain, the betrayal, the heartbreak. Every single time he brings it up I feel like a piece of my soul has been torn apart. I gave him my all, especially when it came to forgiveness, I forgave him so easily. And the fact that he continues to throw it around shamelessly, like I meant nothing to him, hurts me.

Jay sighed and looked away from me. I couldn't read his face so I looked away too. "I'm sorry." He mumbled eventually. I wanted to laugh.

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