I fumbled with my keys, my sweaty palms causing me to drop them twice. My eyes stung more prominently as I opened the door to my house, regretting the fact that I didn't swing by my mom's job like I usually would.
I don't let myself be alone, it's too much for me. And everyone who means something to me knows that, so they try to not let me be alone either, especially Finn. Today, he just didn't give a shit about me. That's okay, I can't argue with his decisions.
I stumbled to the bathroom, falling against the door and keeping my head between my knees, trying to stabilize my breathing as I couldn't keep the tears at bay anymore.
My vision trembled and my body went numb slowly. I hate how much of a wimp I am, how I can't handle someone raising their voice even the tiniest bit. I got myself yelled at by Finn, so I need to suck it up.
The tears stopped as soon as they came, but my breaths still came in short, uneven releases. I was drowning, and the weight of what Finn said was what held me under.
Finn would usually help me with these things, telling me when to inhale and exhale. He'd joke around with me, and then he'd have me wash my face while he waited for me with a blanket to wrap me in so we could lay down and look at memes or something.
I need to be more independent. I tried to remember the breathing pattern he usually has me do, and I eventually got it, but it took far longer than whenever Finn was here.
I stared at the wall blankly for what could have been hours, until I forced my self to stand, tripping over my own feet trying to get to the sink. My hands gripped the edge of the counter tightly, my knuckles turning white.
Slowly, I turned the faucet, just enough for the tiniest stream of the crystal water to come out, like a sad sprinkler at a park near the end of summer.
I cupped my hands, splashing the cool water against my face and running my hands through my hair. Looking up, I saw my pale face and prominent bags and wondered how anyone would ever like me.
I remembered how Finn called me ugly, and it hurt, but it's okay because he doesn't have to like me if he doesn't want to. He's right anyway. He didn't have to love me the way I loved him.
As I left the bathroom, I heard my phone ding multiple times from the hallway where I dropped it. My heart fluttered, hoping it was Finn, but upon unlocking it I realized it was Jaeden and Wyatt
Jaeee Jae : Are you okay Jack? Wyatt and I walked past Finn's house and noticed your bike wasn't there.
Jaeee Jae: jack?
WyattBroleff: hey jack, answer us. We just wanna know if you're okay
I sighed, beginning to type. They were as close to me as Finn was, so I could tell them the truth.
Jack: no
WyattBroleff: we're coming over.
