Family Ties

Portulli's

Hannah's POV

All I could feel was my feet hitting the pavement, my heart pumping in my chest and my breath entering and exiting my lungs as I pushed myself further and further. I'd been running for over an hour at a fast and steady pace, doing my best to exhaust myself in an effort to clear all thoughts from my mind.

I was quite literally running away. I was running from my thoughts, all of the things I didn't feel, but mostly from who I felt I was becoming. I was falling into some pit that I couldn't seem to find my way out of, and hating myself for it with every passing second. I saw it every morning when I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, recognizing myself less and less with every day that passed. The frustration I felt was steadily becoming anger, and it was boiling inside of me like a kettle ready to explode.

There were so many things I was angry at I couldn't even make sense of them. The thoughts that ran through my head scared me, and I was quickly becoming a shell of myself as I felt it all start to take over. I spent every day growing more and more angry, and no matter what I did I couldn't seem to stop it or slow it down. I'd been pushing myself so far in my training that it was probably almost dangerous for my body, but it was the only way I could seem to get any relief from the constant stream of thoughts that ran through my mind 24 hours a day.

I'd found that if I pushed myself far enough I could fall asleep at night from physical exhaustion. My mind was constantly running, trying to figure out why I was thinking all of the things I was, why I couldn't seem to feel anything, and if I would ever understand any of it. I didn't even know why I was so mad, all I knew what that the only person I was mad at was me.

So there I was, running to the point that I felt like I might pass out, arriving home to find my father waiting for me on the front steps. I pulled my earbuds out of my ears as I approached the house, finally slowing to a walking pace. My legs felt like they might give out underneath me, and as I looked over at my dad he gave me the same look everyone else seemed to give me, worry.

"Hey, Peanut." He said softly as I approached him. "How was your run?"

"Good." I said simply as I walked passed him and unlocked the door.

He followed me into the kitchen and took a seat at the table while I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and chugged it, feeling like I desperately needed to get some fluids back in my body after sweating so much.

"You okay?" Dad asked as I finished the bottle and grabbed another one, sitting down across from him.

"Yeah, just a long run." I sighed. "What's up? I didn't know you were coming up today."

"I just figured I wasn't doing much so I'd come check on you guys, see how things are going." He shrugged.

I knew exactly why he was there. It was the same reason he called both Harry and I multiple times daily to chat, and randomly made the two hour drive at least once a week. He was lonely, and it was written all over his face.

"We're fine, Dad. Everything is fine." I said as I reached over and took his hand. "You can just say you missed us." I smiled.

"Well I do miss you. I always miss you." He said, sadness laced into his words.

"I miss you too, Daddy. You know you can stay here if you want, Harry's got downstairs all set up for you whenever you want it."

"I know, but you guys don't need your dad around cramping your style."

"Dad, stop. You know we love having you around." I said as I stood up and searched the fridge for something to make for lunch.

"Well...I kinda wanted to talk to you about something." He said, sounding nervous.