Squeaky Clean

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Hannah's POV

I slowly closed the door to Hank's room and stepped out into the hallway, letting out a sigh as I headed down toward the kitchen. We'd just arrived home from his consultation with the surgeon and gone over everything that was expected for his surgery the next day, and we now had to leave to go to a meeting with Mr. Welch so he could explain where we stood as far as Troy's ridiculous attempt at custody went. 

Harry and I had barely spoken over the past three days, only communicating if necessary when it came to the kids or something important. We seemed to have some unspoken understanding that we needed to work together to take care of the kids, making sure Hank had everything he needed for his surgery and that Troy got nowhere near them, but aside from that we both seemed to be firmly stood on our own ground in regard to him lying to me.

I didn't enjoy the rift between us, but I was so angry at him I couldn't seem to let myself forgive him. It reminded me of the early days when he would purposely keep things from me, using the excuse that he wanted to protect me or let me keep my innocence, but this wasn't just him not telling me about the things that happened to him. If I couldn't trust him to be honest with me about something as important as the kids, what the hell could I trust him with.

"You almost ready?" He asked me from the doorway of the kitchen as I put Hank's antibiotics back in the fridge. "Zayn should be here any minute."

"Yeah, I'm ready." I said simply.

I closed the fridge and stood up straight, and I immediately felt him standing directly behind me, so close that I could feel his breath wafting through my hair. I closed my eyes and tucked my lips into my mouth as I exhaled, and continued to just stand there without saying anything. I could feel the emotion radiating off him as we stood there, fighting my own natural instinct to just melt into him. It had been days since we'd been closer than a few feet apart, and feeling him so close to me brought a familiar warmth that I cursed myself for loving so much. The silence was deafening as I waited for him to do something, or say something, and when he finally did it was so quiet I almost wondered if I'd actually heard it.

"I hate this." He said breathlessly, his breath heating the shell of my ear as I absentmindedly titled my head to the side.

He softly nuzzled his face against my hair, and I realized he had taken that as a sign that things were alright between us, so I stepped away from him and turned to look at him. I just stood there, staring at him as I watched frustration take over his features before he sighed and clenched his jaw.

"You lied to me, Harry." I said firmly, for what felt like the millionth time.

"I'm well aware of that, Hannah." He sighed, sounding irritated. "And I've apologized."

"Yeah, but when you apologize you give me all these reasons why it's justified, and it's not. It's like saying 'I'm sorry but I wasn't wrong'." I said, crossing my arms in front of me.

I watched as he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, sighing as he tried to keep his cool, before he looked back at me and decided to respond.

"Look, you can be mad at me all you want, but I'm done apologizing. I'm sorry for lying to you, but I will not apologize for trying to protect you. You and those kids are my life, and I would lay down in traffic for any of you if I thought it would stop you from hurting. I will protect you at all costs, and I will never apologize to you for that."

"Harry, how can you stand there and not admit that I deserved to know? How can you not see that when it comes to the kids I have just as much of a right to know what's going on as you do? Who gave you the right to decide what I can and can't handle?!" I said, my anger beginning to surface.

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