Jenny Smith-Holmes

Chapter 25: Goodbye

Jenny's P.O.V.

I stood with John, Mrs. Hudson, and Jessica. We were all wearing dark colors as we stood in front of the black marble headstone. In golden letters, Sherlock Holmes was carved in it. Mrs. Hudson and Jessica had put some flowers down at the base of it. I looked up at Jessica as she wiped a few tears away before she walked away
"There's all the stuff, all the science equipment. I left it all in boxes. I don't know what needs doing. I thought I'd take it to a school." She looked over at John as I looked behind me to see Jessica disappear behind some trees to probably have a moment to herself. "Would you ...?" Her voice trailed off.
"I can't go back to the flat again – not at the moment." She took his other arm as she looked sympathetically at him. "I'm angry." He took a deep breath as Mrs. Hudson patted his arm.
"It's okay, John. There's nothing unusual in that. That's the way he made everyone feel." If the circumstances were different, I might have laughed. But right then, I couldn't even cry. I was so emotionally and physically exhausted. Every night, I dreamt about his blood on my hands and his warm body slowly getting colder. "All the marks on my table; and the noise – firing guns at half past one in the morning!"
"Yeah."
"Bloody specimens in my fridge. Imagine – keeping bodies where there's food!"
"Yes."
"And the fighting! Drove me up the wall with all his carryings-on!" I heard her voice crack.
"Yeah, listen: I-I'm not actually that angry, okay?"
"Okay." She turned away and let go of his arm.
"I'll leave you two alone to, erm..." her voice broke again, "... you know." She walked away crying and blowing her nose.
John looked at the grave before looking back over to Mrs. Hudson. He took a deep breath before he walked closer to the stone. I could barely hear him as he said goodbye, but I could tell he was having a hard time with it. So I quietly walked to his side and gently took his his hand in mine without looking up from the grave.
"Um ... umm." He pulled himself together before continuing. "You ... you told me once that you weren't a hero. Umm ... there were times I didn't even think you were human, but let me tell you this: you were the best man, and the most human ... human being that I've ever known and no-one will ever convince me that you told me a lie, and so ... There." He took another deep breath as he looked over his shoulder away from the headstone. He gently put his hand on top of the stone before he continued. "I was so alone, and I owe you so much. Okay." And with that we turned around and started walking away. But before we got very far, he stopped and walked back towards the grave. I stayed back so he could give his last goodbye.  I didn't hear what he said, but I saw him gesturing before he brought his hand up to his face and cried for a moment before raising his head. He gave a small nod before he turned on his heel and walked back towards me. I let him walk past me as I stared at the black stone.
I quietly walked back closer to the grave. I looked down at my hands and the image of his blood on them was imprinted on my mind before I looked back up at the stone angrily and swiftly kicked the headstone. There was a throbbing in my foot but I ignored it.
"I hate you. I hate that you left. I hate that before you died, you started keeping secrets from me. I hate that everyone still thinks you're a fake. Every newspaper has you on the front page with some stupid title like 'fake genius suicide' or something." I took a moment and looked at the ground to calm down. "What's...what gonna.." I swallowed. "What's gonna happen to me now that you're gone? Who's suppose to stay up late with me, or pull pranks on John when I'm bored? Who'll teach me about science or how to deduce a person? Now you'll never finish my violin lessons." I looked back at the ground.
"This is stupid..." I muttered. "You're dead and you're never coming back. So here I am, talking to a stupid polished rock pretending that you'll somehow hear me." Tears were silently flowing as the realization of it all finally hit me. I took a few deep breaths.
"Goodbye daddy."

Jessica's P.O.V

"You're a very good actress, I almost believed you for a second there." The tall figure asked in his deep voice as I walked up besides him. My hands were in my coat pocket to shelter them from the cold.
"Yeah, well. It'd look suspicious if I didn't cry." I wasn't really crying for Sherlock, but for my family. I never got to have a formal funeral for them.
"How'd you know?" He asked, looking over to me.
"There's a lot of things I know Sherlock. Like how everything from now on is going to be different." I said as we watched John and Jenny say their final goodbyes.
"Of course they're going to be different, I'm dead." I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, but you're more important than you realize. Especially to John and Jenny."
"They'll move on, they have to."
"Just because they have to, doesn't mean it'll be easy for anyone. It's going to be especially hard for Jenny. You were her only legal guardian."
"Mycroft's arranged for you and John to become her guardians, it's in my will."
"It's still going to be hard for her to be bounced around between me and John."
"What else am I supposed to do? This was the only way to keep her safe."
"Write her a letter. She's going to be blaming herself for a while, so tell her it's not her fault. You don't have to give her the reason why, but just some closure. I'll give it to her and say it was in your room or something."
"You're saying this like you've done this all before." He raised his eyebrows at me.
"I've never faked my death if that's what you're saying. My father did though... and my guardian, and my granddad, kinda. And one of my dad's friends, and I guess a few other people." I ranted a bit and he looked at me strangely. "My family has a lot of issues." I smiled.
"Be careful Sherlock, I don't want you to actually die. Come back as soon as possible."
"I'll be back when it's safe for them." He looked back at Jenny and John, who were both done saying goodbye.
"Goodbye Sherlock Holmes, until we meet again." I smiled softly and started walking back to everyone else.
"Goodbye Jessica Pond."