The Benefits of Death (Season 1)

S01 x E08

Episode 8: Franken-Van Dyke:

It was another ordinary evening in the heavens for Ike and friends. The sunset was bright, but the weather was slightly cooler than one might have assumed. This was because the four friends were currently walking through the hilly metropolis of San Francisco - or at least the afterlife version of it. Seeing how they were dead, they experienced no fatigue whatsoever as they effortlessly scaled the steep hills, continuing towards their destination.

"Ah, San Francisco." Ike mused, "Usually people will tell you that Paris or Rome is the city of love, but personally I'd say this deserves that title."

"What makes you so sure?" Todd asked.

"Because one of the last people I ever spoke to before I died claimed to have met his wife there." Ike replied.

"Okay, we get it! We're in the same canon as that story!" Eli snapped in a sudden mood-change, "Man, these in-jokes feel so damn forced sometimes."

"Actually we're in the same canon as all this guy's work, but whatever." Ike replied quietly.

"Anyways, the Fame Café is just two blocks ahead. It's slightly upscale, so I expect good manners. Todd, that means you." Eli said, calming down again as he checked the GPS on his iPhone.

Todd's response consisted of nothing more than a groan.

Before long, the gang arrived at the restaurant for their 1:30pm lunch reservation, and were immediately seated. The hostess who seated them didn't hesitate to place four menus on the table before departing.

"Uh, excuse me, ma'am." Todd tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention, "Do you by any chance have a kid's menu?"

"Oh, sure kid. It's on the last page. We call it the Michael Jackson Menu." The hostess replied, "We would call it the Woody Allen menu, but he still has yet to die."

"So the gimmick with this place is that its menu is full of tributes to dead celebrities." Eli explained, "For example, one of the menu items is called 'The King', and it consists of a fried peanut-butter and banana sandwich. Pay an extra two bucks, and you can get bacon on it as well."

"Welp, I know what I'm getting!" Jay said, closing his menu with enough force to make his beard blow in the breeze for a split-second.

"And then there's another dish which I'm having called the 'Gerry Rafferty', which is essentially liver and onions. It's a reference to the fact that he died of liver failure." Eli continued.

A good ten minutes later, the four guys all had their eyes glued to the tube TV (since flat-screens hadn't become obsolete yet) across the aisle from their table.

"Good afternoon, I'm Pietro Vicciotelli. In today's top story, defunct Trump businesses are suddenly sprouting up all over the afterlife version of America, including the once prestigious Trump University." Pietro announced, "And already, this is generating some considerable unrest."

"Ugh, damn right it is! Guy's not even dead, and he's already spreading his toxic influence throughout heaven!" Jay grumbled.

"And holy shit, look at the size of that campus! What is he trying to compensate for with that?!" Ike chimed in.

"His dick?" Todd asked.

"Nah, I was gonna guess his hands." Ike replied.

"Famed musician Prince has recently stepped up and is organizing a rally slash petition to have all these controversial establishments torn down." Pietro continued.