The Benefits of Death (Season 1)

S01 x E10

Episode 10: Todd Man Out (Part 2):

At Todd's house, a montage began, with the Rocky theme playing in the background. The first scene showed him cleaning up his house in a variety of ways, including mopping the floors, sweeping the stairs, dusting the furniture, and even trimming his lawn down to a more desirable height. The second scene showed him in a white short-sleeved dress shirt and black slacks and loafers, struggling to properly put on a black and yellow striped necktie.

The third scene showed Todd attempting to shave in the mirror (despite not having a trace of hair anywhere but on his head), only to accidentally let the razor slip. However, since he was unable to get hurt, no cuts resulted from his slip-up. The fourth scene showed him opening the oven in his kitchen, only to release a thick, black cloud of smoke. He quickly doused the flames with a fire extinguisher, revealing a completely blackened whole chicken. The moment he picked up the pan in his oven-mitt-covered hands, the entire bird crumbled into a pile of ash.

Occasionally in between scenes, the montage was interrupted with a shot of Todd struggling to consume a cup of black coffee.

The fifth scene showed him gathering up all the trash in the house, sweating profusely as he dragged the heavy white bag outside, where the trash bins were waiting on the curb. The sixth scene showed him setting up a lemonade stand in his now freshly-mowed front yard, with a crayon-drawn banner on the front that read "Todd Henderson Enterprises ®; $10 per glass, with NO REFUNDS; Hours: 9:00am to 5:00pm".

The seventh and final scene showed Todd using a tape-measurer to measure his height, only to groan in disappointment at the fact that he was still at four feet and hadn't grown any taller.

Meanwhile, over in Paris, France, Ike, Eli, and Jay were casually strolling along the street, with all their belongings back in tow. Each of them had a hot, flaky, and buttery croissant in hand which they munched on as they eyed the distinctive French architecture.

"Well, it took the rest of our scheduled three days in Spain, but we managed to get all our stuff back." Jay said.

"Yeah. Now how about we make sure that's the last time we ask a local for directions?" Eli asked.

"I'd have no problem keeping that promise." Ike replied, before unfolding the map in his travel guide, "So! What do we do next? I was thinking maybe we could find a winery and do some sampling."

"Go the the top of the Eiffel Tower?" Jay proposed.

"Hunt for some treasure?" Eli suggested.

"Come again?" The other two asked in unison.

"Yup, you heard that right. Some stranger in an alley we passed offered me this map in exchange for a few euros. And unlike the last guy we talked to, there were no henchmen." Eli explained, holding up the map, "According to this, it's located somewhere under the Pont d'Avignon."

"As much as I generally prefer to stick to the beaten path, I'd be lying out of my ass if I said going on a treasure hunt didn't sound at least a little tempting." Ike replied.

"That's the spirit!" Eli replied, "After all, what could possibly go wrong? Y.O.D.O.!"

"What the fuck does that mean?" Jay asked.

"It means 'you only die once'." Eli replied.

(sigh)... Do I even have to say it?

"Ugh, fine. Sorry again, narrator." Eli replied flatly.

Within forty minutes, the trio made it to the aforementioned bridge and proceeded to stand on the riverbank. All three of them set their travel packs down in the shade so they wouldn't be spotted too easily.