You, Me and a Bed Makes Three

You, Me and a Bed Makes Three (12 - without sex scene)

As promiesed here is the non sex bit from the last chapter. so if u didn't read it heres what you missed after they have sex.

hope you like it ^_^

- The Up's and Down's -

....

I pull away from him when he releases my hips and stand up. I don't bother to turn around, I reach for the shower gel and start washing my body. He knows the rules, no snuggling after sex. I expect him to leave me to shower in peace. Instead he snakes his arms around my waist and kisses up my neck.

I mean don't get me wrong this feels nice, but the lovey dovey crap that people expect after sex just makes it harder to distance yourself from the emotional side of it. That's why I don't do snuggles. After the feeling of ecstasy I don't want to feel lust or that fake feeling of love. I want to relish in the high I get from having sex. Not be reminded of what I can't have. What I don't want from them.

All this snuggling with Shaun is getting way out of hand! I'm starting to regret letting him spoon me the past few nights with out giving him hell for it.

I pull away. "stop!" I order him.

.

"oh come on you like it really." he purrs in my ear as he tightens his hold around my waist.

"i'm not saying I don't like it. I just don't want it."

"yeah and I never understand why." he pulls his arms away. And I sigh in relief. "i don't get you Harley. Most chicks want nothing more then to be held after sex. I used to think it was a good thing that you didn't. Now I'm getting worried. I feel like your doing this for all the wrong reasons." he turns me around by my shoulders. "are you happy?"

his eyes probe mine looking for signs of something, I'm not sure what. I look away not liking the intensity of his stare. "yes I am happy." I tell him.

"fine." he huffs. "i don't believe you but whatever. You know we worry about you don't you?" he strokes my face. "we love you Harley. Maybe we should stop the sex games."

"why? I like the fact that I can just get some from any one of you if I want it." I run my hand down his chest. "don't you like having sex with me?" I say seductively.

He catches my hand before I get to his crotch. "damn it Harley!" he said in a stern voice, I jump a bit. "look. How about you lay off the games for a bit? Give yourself a brake."

"I've been on a brake for the past week." I raise an eye brow at him.

He rolls his eyes. "you know what I mean. A proper one. No games, no drink, no drugs. I wanna see you smile."

I smile up at him. He shakes his head.

"no a proper smile Harley. Not this fake one I've seen plastered on you face for the best part of a year!"

"this is my smile! If you don't like it don't look at it." I snarled at him beyond annoyed with him now.

I'm soo not in the mood for this right now. Why does he now have to turn all mother hen on me? Usually he's all arrogant and cocky. Doesn't delve into emotions. Lets me be! Why now does he decide to notice things or bring it up at least?

"fine" he growls, frustrated with me. "just don't forget we care about you. I know it may not show all the time and may seem like we just use you, but we do." he looks at me with sad eyes.

"hey. Now. Don't go all mushy on me" I say stroking his face. "i know you care. But you have to understand this is just how I am now. I like it and I don't want to change it."

"i just wish you hadn't changed so much. I feel like we corrupted you. Broke you so you would never be whole again." he sighed and kissed my hand lovingly.

"you didn't do anything. If anything you guys have kept me sane." I tell him.

If they weren't around the past year and half I would of gone completely off the rails. They've looked out for me. Taken me home when I was completely gone before some guy could take advantage. I know I make them sound like horny boys that only want me for one thing, but they do look after me. They were there when I was breaking down. When he left.

He pulled me in for hug. "i love you Harley. Not like Greg does but I still love you as a friend. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"love ya too big guy!" I pull back feeling awkward from the emotional display. I don't like opening up to people. It makes it harder to close the cracks again.

He smiled at me. "i'll let you finish washing up. Did you need anything?" he asked me.

"oh actually could you get me my shampoo. Yours is crap!" I poked my tongue out playfully.

"it is not! Maybe you should go shopping if it's so bad." he said stepping out of the shower. "where is it?" he called out to me.

"in my bag. Just bring in the small blue bag, it's got all my toiletries in."

he passed me the two bottles and smiled at me. I smiled back trying to make it reach my eyes, or at least resemble my old smile. "thanks"

He left me to shower off. As soon as I heard the door click I broke down. I slumped on the floor of the shower, letting the water wash away my tears. I didn't wail any more. I had taught myself to cry silently. When I used to wail they would get all worried and come rushing in to comfort me. Guys can only take so much emotions. There not very good with dealing with a crying girl. They did there best but to be honest I didn't want there sympathy.

I sat there in the shower letting it all out of my system. I didn't realise they had noticed I was unhappy. Sure I knew Greg did but we were really close even before everything changed. The guys had always been around as well but I only really hung out with them because they were Greg friends. They took me out when I was under age cause they knew all the bouncers. Toms older brother was head bouncer.

When things changed and the problems at home got worse I started hanging out with them more. Doing drugs with them, drinking all day, shacking up with them for the hell of it. Just generally partying with them 24/7.

Argh I need to go to the cottage for a bit to escape. Maybe Shaun will let me borrow his car. I just hope he doesn't want to come with me. I could walk there but it would take the best part of a day, and I think they would get worried if I disappeared for a few days with out telling them.

I pulled myself together, just letting the silent tears fall, but didn't get off the floor. Instead I washed my hair whilst down there. Lazy I know, but I was feeling weaker then usual, and I had been having such a good day.

Sods law aye!

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