1-800-273-8255 / ethan dolan

1

selicity

it was my first day at my internship, my job was to answer the phone calls for the suicide hotline. depressing, i know, but i'm wanting to go into psychology when i get older and my mom thought that this would be best for me.

i push open the door to the large old building, my vans clicking against the tile floors. i walk up to the front desk and the woman behind it looks up.

"uhm, s-selicity banks. i'm here for my internship." i stutter. she looks me up and down and nods her head, "room D103, upstairs and the first right."

i quickly thank her and follow her directions. i stop when i see the room she's talking about. i knock the door a couple times before opening it. it was a room, about the size of a small closet. there was a small desk and a fake plant sitting in the corner. on the desk there was a mac computer and a name plate that said my name on it.

i sighed and set my stuff down, plopping in the chair. i fiddle with my fingers, waiting for the phone to ring. it seems like hours before i finally get a call. i am quick to answer it.

"new jersey suicide hotline, selicity speaking, how may i help you?" i say.

"fuck," i hear a boy mumble, "i can't believe i'm doing this shit.."

"what's wrong?" i question.

"i- i don't even know anymore.." he says sighing.

"are you okay?"

"no. not really."

"care to explain?" i raise my eyebrows even though he can't see me.

"i feel like i'm out of my mind. it feels like my life isn't even mine. it's the people around me's life. 'ethan, do this. ethan, do that!' they're always talking about how every life if precious.. but i know nobody cares about mine. i don't wanna be alive." he mumbles the last part probably thinking i can't hear him.

"i want you to be alive. ethan, there's always gonna be people out there who push you around and make fun of you. you've just gotta ignore them. it's not worth ending your own life." i say, i feel horrible for this kid because no one should be pushed around.

"i don't wanna end my life." he says quickly, "it's just, if someone came and shot me in the head right now, i'd be okay with it. and what do you know anyways? you're probably like, 40." he scoffs.

"close. i'm actually 17, i'm assuming you are too? this rough patch that you're in right now will fade away. next thing you know, you'll be 33 with a lovely wife and kids. you'll think back on when you were in high school and be like 'wow, i'm so glad i didn't spend too much time worrying about what others think'" i mimick.

i hear him let out a small laugh and i smile a little. "well selicity, i'll speak to you later.."

"you're okay right, ethan?"

"i'm fine. ill probably call tomorrow. goodbye."

"bye ethan."

-

THIS IS BASED OFF OF THE LOGIC SONG SO CREDS TO HIM ITS A BOP AND I LUV IT THANKS.