Not The Same | Nick Clark | FTWD

Part 1

I harshly rubbed at my eyes before staring back at the blurry bills that were strewn across the table in front of me.

"I can't-- I-" My voice cracked, "Oh my god.."

Last month was hard enough and even then I knew I wasn't going to be able to make it this month, I just didn't know it would be this bad.

Momentarily my mind was taken off the current problem as my phone lit up, a familiar but surprising name showing up; Alicia Clark.

I let out a breath, wiping my cheek before answering, "Hello?"

"Hannah?" He voice spoke, bringing back a sea of memories, "Hannah, hey, I don't know if my mom talked to you recently or like a month ago or something about Nick-"

"Alicia, I told her that he wasn't here, okay? I haven't seen him in months." I cut her off.

"No- no, I know that-- we just found him." She breathed, "He's not doing so well."

I scoffed, "Yeah? When is he ever well?"

"It's worse, Hannah-"

"Well, you know what? Turns out we're all not doing so well." I said as I pushed around the torn open letters, "I really can't deal with him right now-"

"And you think I can? You think my mom can?" She stopped me.

"Alicia, Nick isn't my problem!" I reminded, "We aren't together anymore and-"

"You told me that you'd always be there for him-- for me if- if this shit ever happened again! What ever happened to that?"

"Life happened!" I fought back, "I'm about to lose my damn apartment because I can't pay the bills, my cars nearly on empty, and my parents still aren't speaking to me, so I'm sorry that I can't drop everything to go where ever the hell your brother is because we both know damn well this won't be the last time!"

The phone went silent for a moment before Alicia's voice came through again, weaker than before, "And if it is?"

I let out a sigh, leaning my head back, "Nick's bullet proof."

"How do you know-"

"Because he told me, okay?" I said, getting annoyed at the back and forth, "Look, I care about you and your family, but I just don't have the time to get wrapped into this again."

She scoffed, "Yeah well, if you ever decide to keep your word, he's in the trauma unit at UCLA."

"I-" I stopped as I heard her end the call, letting out a heavy sigh before tossing my phone on the table.

If it was at any other time in my life, when I wasn't going through one of the most terrifying things ever, I'd probably drop everything like always and run to Nick's side.. but everything's different now.

I grabbed another letter off the table, tearing it open and pulling out the paper; car insurance $232.04

I let out an exhausted laugh, tossing the bill across the table before getting up and throwing myself on the couch, just wishing today was all a dream when, all of a sudden, a word Alicia said popped back into my head.

"Trauma.." I said out loud, "Trauma unit.. what?"

I quickly got up, grabbing my phone and dialing Alicia's number, against my better judgement, desperately hoping she'd pick up, but without any luck.

"Are you serious, I- ugh!" I swore into the phone, shoving into my pocket before grabbing my keys and heading out the door.

I hopped into my car, turning the key before glancing down at the gas meter, "Please don't leave me stranded on the road.."

***

I headed through the doors of the trauma unit; the waiting room filled with families that carried the same worried expression that I'm sure I had.

"Miss? Can I help you?" A woman behind the desk asked, catching my attention.

"Oh yeah, I um- I'm looking for Nick Clark-- Nicholas Clark it might be under." I stuttered, looking down the hall a bit, "Could you see what room he's in?"

The woman chuckled a bit, "Of course, let me just have a quick look-- yes, room 402, just right over there."

I nodded, "Thank you so much--"

"Oh wait, Miss?" She stopped me, "I'm sorry, I forgot to ask, are you his immediate family?"

"I uh- I'm a family friend." I shrugged.

She gave me a bummed expression, "I'm so sorry, only family and people permitted by families are allowed to visit."

"Well, could you check if my name is down? It's Hannah Waynes."

"I'm not seeing it.." she said as her eyes scanned the computer screen, "Again, I'm sorry-- really."

"No, don't worry, it's fine." I shook my head, giving her a reassuring smile as I walked back towards the front door.

As I reached it, I looked back slightly as I heard another voice, "Hey, could you come help me with the copier? It's jammed again."

The woman at the front desk laughed, standing up, "I swear, I'm going to start a petition to get a new copy machine on this floor because this is just getting ridiculous."

I quickly looked around the room, seeing no workers in sight and deciding to feed into my curiosity, making my way back through the waiting room and straight to room 402.