Not The Same | Nick Clark | FTWD

Part 7

I had mixed emotions about being here-- well, actually about everything that's going on, but my heart felt it's heaviest as I looked around the room-- memories surrounding us, and not all of them good.

"What's wrong?" Nick asked, pulling me out of my trance like thoughts.

"Nothing," I shook my head, standing up as I went over to a small dresser in the corner of the room, "It's just- a lots going on."

"Well yeah," Nick replied, sitting up, "But we've been through worse-"

"I know," I sighed, cutting him off as I pulled out a t-shirt of his, promptly pulling my own off before sliding the other on in its place, the loose feeling and familiar scent bringing me comfort before I began slipping off my pants from under it, "It's just.. I never thought I'd be back here-- not after last time."

Nick tiredly rubbed his hands over his face, "Neither did I." He mumbled before looking back up at me, "But I'm glad you are."

Nick always had my heart, it was clear to me, and I think he knew that as well. Whether he was sober, high, or just coming down, I was putty in his hands the second I looked into his eyes.

A light smile appeared on my face as I walked over to where he sat, his head now hanging low as he rested it on my stomach-- my hands tangled in his hair as he let out a tired groan.

"I wish I would've picked you." He mumbled quietly, causing me to give him a questionable hum, "Over the powder." He responded.

I drew in my bottom lip, biting down harshly as my heart ached, "Me too." I whispered softly, running my fingers over the back of his neck as the memories flooded my mind.

* * * * *

"What? So- so now you're going to control who I hangout with?" Nick asked, furrowing his eyebrows as his tired eyes struggled to focus.

"I just don't think you should be around her-"

"Yeah, like you would know, right?" He scoffed, his tone laced with sarcasm.

I cocked my head, confused at what he was saying, "What do you mean-"

"You're dating a goddamn addict, Han!" He exclaimed as he began shoving random things in his room into a bag, "It's pretty clear to everyone that you don't have the best judgement when it comes to people."

"I'm not dating an addict, I'm dating you, Nick." I breathed, "I love you-"

"Yeah, well you shouldn't." He cut me off.

"Maybe so," I shrugged, "But I still do."

I watched from behind him as he rested his head back, taking a big breath before grabbing the picture of us, that stood on the dresser, and hurling it against the wall, causing me to shutter as the sound of breaking glass filled the room.

"Get all your shit out of here." He mumbled before throwing the bag over his shoulder, heading out his bedroom door.

"Nick- Nick, please stop," I pleaded as I grabbed his arm, afraid of where he'd end up when he left this house, "We don't have to do this right now-- you don't have to leave-"

"It's done, Hannah!" He snapped, pulling his arm out of my grip as I felt myself slowly losing the one person I didn't want to imagine my life without, "Go off to college and meet some- some straight edge asshole who will give you everything you want and sweep you off your feet!"

"I don't- please Nick, I don't want that!" I begged as I followed him down the stairs, "Please don't leave again-- I can't lose you!"

And without another word, he was out the front door; a beat up car waiting in the distance.

*
As I gathered up the last of my things, feeling like this would probably be the last time I'd ever be in this room, I heard foot steps coming up the stairs followed by Alicia's voice.

"Hannah?" She asked, concern in her voice as she took out her headphones, her eyes scanning the room, "What happened?"

"Nick and I are over." I said lowly.

"Why are you taking your stuff? You never take-"

"For good, Alicia." I stopped her, her eyes like a deer in headlights as she tried to process the information, "He doesn't want to be with me and he made that very clear."

"You can't- you can't go.." she stuttered, "Where is he? Where's Nick? I'll talk to him-"

"He left like half an hour ago," I shrugged, zipping the bag, "Didn't seem like he had any plans of coming back either."

"Then you don't have to go!" She shook her head, "You can stay here until he comes back; you know my mom won't mind, she likes when you're around-"

"I just want to be away from all of this right now, I'm sorry." I breathed, pushing past her into the hall before stopping, "I still love him, Alicia, you know that right?"

She nodded, "He loves you to."

"He only loves getting high." I corrected her, "I just-" I stopped again, sighing, "If he comes back and he needs anything, or if you or your mom ever need anything.. you know where I'll be."

And without another word, I left.

_____
I really wanted to show the relationship that Nick and Hannah have in this chapter-- they've been together for a long while, through many ups and downs, and are very comfortable with each other.