Not The Same | Nick Clark | FTWD

Part 8

My eyes opened as I struggled to catch my breath, pushing myself up in bed, resulting in Nick waking up.

"Hey-- what happened?" His rough, sleepy voice asked as he sat up.

I looked over to him through the dark, shadowed room, my heart aching with what I still felt for him even after how things ended, before I quickly connected our lips.
His hand immediately found the side of my face, caressing it as he deepened the kiss before I pulled away, our foreheads pressed together.

"I still love you." I breathed, "I never stopped."

He quickly kissed me again before getting up and stumbling through the dark room, picking an object up off the floor before he began fiddling with it.
I intently watched his shadowed figure as he made his way back over to the bed, tossing something to the ground in the process, before handing me something else that held more meaning than it was ever meant to.
A soft smile grew on my face, my heart warmer than it had been in what seemed like ages as I looked at the picture I held in my hands.

"I don't want to lose you again, Han." Nick mumbled as he sat back down, tiredly rubbing at his face, "Whatever happened that day, I don't-" he stopped, taking a breath before looking at me, "I don't want you to think that this is gonna be like the others times, because I'm gonna get better this time-- I will, I'm- I'm trying, I really want to-"

"I believe you." I breathed, stopping him, my words coming more from my heart than from my mind, but I honestly wanted nothing more than what he was saying to be the truth.

He let out a quick breath, almost one of relief, "I love you too."

***

I watched while my fingers traced over Nick's bare chest as the sun began to show through the dusty blinds, the bruise on his side from the accident reminding me of the high he's still currently coming down from.

"Your mom called me the other day asking for hydros," I began as I propped myself up, facing him, "She said she got you some pills but didn't know if it was gonna be enough.."

"Yeah.. I don't know," Nick huffed, unsure as he stared up at the ceiling, his hand playing in my hair, "She says she wants to ween me off of them," he joked, pushing himself out of the bed, "Like a dog or something."

I chuckled, pulling the covers over myself before my laugher began to die down, a question weighing on my mind, "So, what happened with Calvin?"

"Uhh.." Nick began, his mind filled with thought as he buttoned his pants, "After I got out of the hospital I went to him because what I saw, I thought it was from the powder, but he must have thought I was gonna rat him out him or something." He shrugged, pulling the white t-shirt over his head, "He was gonna shoot me so I shot him first-- I took his gun from him, and I shot him."

I bit at the side of my cheek, still trying to process the fact that all of this was actually happening, "Did he turn into one of those things?"

Nick sat on the side of the bed, slowly nodding, what happened still obviously weighing on him though he was very good at playing it off otherwise.

I sat up behind him as I draped my arms over his shoulders, my face nuzzling into his neck, "I'm sorry," I breathed, "But you're still here, and that's all that matters."

***

As I began loading things into the back of Madison's car, a hand suddenly grabbed my arm, causing my head to whip around.

"It's just me." Madison hushed as she saw my shocked expression, "How's Nick doing? Is he feeling ok?"

"Uh, yeah- yeah I think he is," I shrugged, "He said something about getting weened off the pills you got-"

"Just until we get to the desert." She nodded.

"But do you have enough? We really can't risk him going down hill right now."

She nodded again, "It'll be a stretch but we'll make it work-- we're gonna have to, so try to keep his mind off of it if you could."

I scoffed, "You got any other impossible requests? Flying? Making a million dollars appear out of thin air maybe?"

"At least try, Han, come on."

I chuckled, beginning to walk back to the house, "Yeah, yeah, I'll try."

***

"Knock, knock?" I said in unison with my hand tapping on the open door of Alicia's room, "Can I come in?"

"Doors open, isn't it?" She asked looking back at me before continuing to pull clothes out of her dresser.

I shrugged, "We just haven't really talked since I got here-"

"You never answered any of my texts-- like any of them." She cut me off, her tone harsh and ready for whatever I'd say next.

"Yeah, I uh-" I sighed, shaking my head, "I kinda wanted to get away from it all... I mean, after what happened with Nick, I just didn't want to hang on to something that I thought would only continue to hurt me."

"So your solution was to hurt someone else instead?" She questioned, "Hannah, we used to talk every single day and then you just vanished.. why do you think that's ok?"

I shrugged again, shaking my head, "I just didn't want to get hurt again."

"Well, I didn't either, but I don't have a choice." She said harshly, throwing a t-shirt on the bed, "You told me that you'd always be there for me when I needed you but it took Nick almost dying to get you to actually care."

I swallowed harshly, taking in her words because I knew that she needed to get them out even though the situation she painted was missing a few colors, "Yeah well, I just wanted to come say I was sorry for.. everything, I guess."

"Whatever." She shook her head, continuing to pack her bag as I walked back out of the room.

_____
I really wanted to show the relationship Hannah has with some of the other members of this family, along with building on the storyline.

As I said in the last chapters authors notes, Nick and Hannah have been off and on dating for a long time, and because of that, she has also gotten very close with Madison and Alicia-- Madison seeing her as almost a second daughter while also relying heavily on her to do the things that Madison doesn't have the ability to. And Alicia seeing Hannah, less as of a best friend and more of as another family member-- someone who is always there, and someone to joke around with and get advice from.