My dear boss Zayn

Farewell

I never felt this way. I never felt my body shaking that much, I never felt my whole world falling down. I never felt myself so vulnerable. I never loved anyone else like I love him.

And I never thought I would maybe lose him just like that.

His body is in my arms, covered with blood. He tries to breathe but he finds himself suffocating. I'm shouting so loud my lungs might explode from one second to another. The tears on my face are falling on his perfect features and I find myself hopeless in front of this disaster.

I'm trying not to let the blood spilling out everywhere, I keep my hand on his stomach firmly as he closes his eyes because of the pain. People start to get out from their shops or houses, and come to me. They're screaming at what they see while I can't pronounce a word.

I'm paralyzed and unable to know what to do. Fortunately people help me to call emergencies and Zayn's body is taken to the hospital quite immediately. I jump in the ambulance with him, holding his hand like I'm never going to let go and pray in my head.

I pray God he will let me live with the man I love just like I did when I thought I was going to die. It is like a never ending nightmare. Like I'm not allowed to be happy more than three seconds, and when I am, I suddenly wake up in the middle of multiple troubles.

How am I suppose to be happy with someone I am so afraid to lose ? I can't live without him, but I can't live with the fact that I might lose him at any time. But the truth is, I can't let him go anyway. He is a part of me, and ripping off this part forever because I'm too afraid to live, would be the reason for my death.

So, I'm going to be strong for him, for the both of us. No matter what happens I'll stay by his side because he is my everything. He's all I've got right now.

I'm still holding his hand as the doctor puts a masks on his face to help him breathing, Zayn slightly opens his eyes but closes them the second after. He is struggling not to lose consciousness and I feel his body trembling. His legs are shaking under the security blanket and his heart beats at a high pace.

The doctor tells me to step back and I am left alone, powerless. I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket as Angelo tried to call me several times already but I don't have the strength to answer.

I try to clamp, hang on something as the car is driving fast but my legs are not able to move anymore. That's how I see myself falling on the ground, my head hitting something. Everything becomes blurry and the last thing I feel is a man's hand slapping my cheek to wake me up but I let myself go, hoping everything will be fine when I will open my eyes again.

**

When I open them a few hours later, I find myself sitting on a cold chair, almost falling from it. I turn my head to see people running everywhere, there's a lot of noise where I am and my vision is still blurry.

I try to close my eyes but nothing's working, I'm still here. I try to stand up on my feet and hold onto the wall carefully, wandering in the corridor when my body starts to shake and slowly abandons me.

I almost fall down as a man holds me tight against him and lifts my body with the strength of his arms. I turn my head and distinguish something blue which becomes clearer the more I look at it. I put my hand on his face and his features start to appear.