Glee: A Brand New Direction (first book of Glee series)

Chapter 42: Nasty

"He is driving me crazy!" exclaimed Tina as she walked in after Blaine. We were all sort of being rowdy but she was louder than all of us.

"I haven't done anything, Tina!" exclaimed Blaine, looking back at her. "All I did was suggest that I sing a piano version of a rock song for Nationals."

"This is not the Blaine show!" Tina exclaimed. "You seriously need to learn a lesson on humilty!

"This coming from the girl who went ballistic from a simple prom nomination," Blaine responded with an eye roll.

"Guys suck," Tina said, sulking down on a chair.

"Agreed," Marley added.

"Like girls are any better," Jake retorted.

"Girls are more trustworthy," Kitty said.

"Boys are more forgiving," John told her.

"And more easygoing," Ryder added.

"And more myopic," I told him.

"Alright enough," said Finn from the door.

"Finn!" exclaimed Tina as she ran over to hug him. Sam and Blaine did the same. The rest of us waited our turns.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I asked Mr. Schue when the best time to visit would be," he said. "And he said he had some meeting today with the school board or something, so I got on a bus and came down here. He wanted me to help you guys plan your setlist for Nationals."

"Oh Beyonce!" exclaimed Unique. And the group banter started again.

"Anarchy!" yelled Blaine. "I have some ideas."

"Of course you do," said Kitty. "Look Blaine, you're cute. But you're just like all other guys, well, with the exception of your sexuality. You just want it to be about you, you, you and you don't care about what you do or say to others."

"At least he doesn't drunk text you things someone with a boyfriend shouldn't be saying," said John.

"Wait, what..." murmured Artie.

Finn was meanwhile writing on the board: "Boy V Girl"

"What's that all about?" Cory asked Finn.

"It is apparent that there's some sort of battle of the sexes thing going on," he explained. "So for your pre-Nationals assignment, I want you all to find someone of the opposite sex to feud in song with. You know, try to understand each other through song. So I'll start pairing you off from what I observed from the door. Uh, Jake and Marley. Tina and Blaine. Kitty and John. Julie and Ryder. The rest of you pair off as necessary and challenge whoever you see fit. Alright, lets make this about the music again guys."

***

"You didn't go to practice yesterday," Bree told me as she harrassed me in the hallway.

"I had a lot of homework," I said. 

"Well, Jake wants us to help him with some number he's doing," she said. "He requested your presence specifically and to not include Kitty. So you better be there today."

"So you two are like a thing now?" I asked.

"Hardly," she said, seeming to be genuinely upset. "He's pretty much hooked up with the entire squad. I wouldn't doubt it if he went after you next." Was she messing with my head or was she being serious?

I figured she was being honest when I got to practice and saw what Jake was working on with the girls. He was super picky at practice and just a total asshat. He called us out for being terrible dancers. You do not mess with my dancing!

***

"Dancing has never been our strong suit," Finn told us after I brought this up with him in glee club. "But I think with Jake's help we can kick it up a knotch. Jake?"

"What's the point?" Jake said. 

"I'm sorry?" Finn told him.

"Seriously, what is the point?" he asked, throwing his arms up. "I could choreograph a sick dance. None of you could keep up. Except maybe Julie over there, and if her dancing is telling of her abilities in, uh, similar things, then I look forward to rehearsing with her-- by the way, digging you in the Cheerios uniform, hate that I don't get to see you in it too often--"

"Ugh..." I said.

"But I mean, half of you can't even do the dances," Jake continued. "And won't even try." He signaled at Marley. "Why? Because you're not dancers. So let's not waste my time. Do another cut-and-paste dance routine that even Tina can pick up."

I was about to say something but Marley finally strapped on a pair and said what we were all thinking: "You are such a conceited jerk."

"I'm not conceited," Jake said. "I'm bored."

"Please," said Marley, clearly irritated. "We've seen your dance moves.They're fine. Not epic."

"Oh you wanna see epic?" Jake told her. "Julie, girls." I sighed and went over to the front, where the chairs had been cleared.

"You're taking part in this?" Ryder asked incredulously. I frowned. It was for the squad, not for Jake, but I couldn't explain because Jake had already started and the rest of the squad had stepped in.

Give me a beat, Jake started. He began dancing and the rest of us girls did our routine. It was far too much grinding for me. 

Jake: Sittin' in the movie show, thinkin' nasty thoughts, huh.

I tried to avoid him as he grabbed the girls and had them grind on him. To my surprise, Marley joined in with the singing.

Marley: A-better be a gentleman or you turn me off, uh

I guess Bree was pretty fed up too because she started singing too and nearly slapped him at some point. We did the number, which was a mash-up with "Rythym Nation." And then suddenly, we were done. And I received hateful looks from everyone.

"How could you be a part of this?" Sam asked me as the cheerleaders left.

"Seriously, Julie?" said Kitty. "I thought you of all people was better than this."

"I'm just surprised at how terrible your dancing has gotten," Jake told me. "You've faded, just like Kitty. Can't even dance." He looked at Marley briefly before walking away. I texted Kitty and Bree that night to make sure we got back at him.

***

The following day, I knew I had to strike back. I had planned a dance all night with the girls. And so when we got to glee club, we performed "Dance Me If You Can" by the Cheetah Girls. When we were done, Jake had some judgements to make.

"Bree," he started. "Your footwork is completely messy. You can't seriously expect to sing a song about being able to dance if you can't get a simple step ball change correctly."

"Whatever," Bree responded.

"Kitty," Jake went on. "Sloppy as usual. You may wanna consider changing your ethnicity. Bree's got black, Julie's Hispanic, but you are just plain white. Your hips can't lie if you don't have any."

"Seriously?" Kitty responded.

"So racist..." murmured Tina.

"And Julie," he continued with a smile as I rolled my eyes. "You weren't at your best. But nothing a few extra sessions with me can't fix."

"Alright enough!" Ryder shouted.

"What?" said Jake. "Oh you don't like it when a guy is all over your girl as soon as you two break up? Oh wait, no, you two were never even together. So I guess I should really be asking Sam." 

"When did you become such a douche?" Sam said.

"He was always like this," Marley said. "Always will be." So Jake walked out and the rest of us also went our separate ways.