The Jock and the Emo Part 2 Boyxboy

Chapter 15

I've cussed since I realized how stupid I was for biting off his tongue. I didn't think of aids or anything like that. I've never been scared shitless. Well besides when I thought Beau was going to die. This is the second most scariest thing. Theses last several weeks have been hell on my nerves. I didn't think about what I did until my head cleared from all the drugs. Sure I knew I done it knew I was getting tested but it never dawned on me the seriousness of it. Beau and mom have been replanning the wedding but honestly I don't want it to happen until we find out. I refuse to do that Beau no matter how much he loves me no matter how much I love him. I just can't do it. I won't do it. There's no way I'm putting him or anybody else thru that. Their nuts. He seriously thinks its okay to watch me die. I don't think so. How can it be okay to watch someone you love die. I don't know much about the disease but I know it kills slowly. I'd rather kill myself than let that happen. Dying because of old age is one thing dying before your thirty of a slow killing disease is another. I can't do that to Beau, my family or friends. Beau keeps trying to tell he'll stick by me no matter but I can't do that to him. He keeps showing me statistic but I don't listen but I refuse to listen. He keeps telling the progress they made in medicine for it but I refuse to listen. He keeps telling me this that and other thing about it but I still refuse to listen to it. I won't until I find out if I have it or not. It's been grueling. I don't know how many times I wanted to kill myself just thinking about it. I won't do that yet. Not until I find out. We haven't had sex at all. He keeps tell me we can use condoms but I can't take that chance. I can't risk him getting him sick because of my stupidity. I won't even kiss him. He says it's not passed that way but I still can't risk it. I can't risk anything. I've been real careful. Cleaning up after myself, washing my own clothes, dishes, everything I can think of. If I touched it I cleaned it. Keeping my stuff separate from his. He says I'm being stupid. Maybe possibility, probably, mostly but I don't care better safe than sorry right? So I'm scared for him and myself. I'm even scared to sleep next to him. What if I drooled? What if? What if? That's all I think about. What if? It's enough to drive to a insane person sane.

"Hey babe ready?" he ask coming in the bedroom.

"Yeah." I say getting up. After my shower and getting ready I just plopped back down into bed dreading my results. I really don't want to hear it. To scared to. To petrified to. So we leave going to the doctors. Chris Blaine whoever you want to call him had one too. He's sitting in jail right now without bail. Apparently the cops caught him the same day trying to fix his own tongue go figure that one out. Not a very bright person if you ask me but what do I know? I'm not the brightest crayon in the box either. My stupidity might kill me. Come on who's stupid enough to do what I did without thinking. NO ONE but stupid me.

"It's going to be okay?" he tries to reassure me. He does this about fifty times a day.

"You don't know that." I grunt.

"Yeah I do. I'll be with you the whole time. I'm not going anywhere babe." I haven't told him my fears yet. I won't until I have to.

"Sure." I'm not letting him stay with me. He's nuts if he thinks I'm going to let him watch me die. Not happening! Never. We get to the doctors office. Painfully slow I might add or it might have just been me. We go in and wait.

"You know I'm getting tired of see you boys." Sue says walking out.

"Hey Sue. How you been." Beau greets her.

"Pretty good. How have you been. Haven't seen you since the almost wedding."

"Yeah it's on again. Next week actually. So you better be there." huh this is the first I've heard of this. It won't happen unless it comes back negative.

"Won't miss it. How are you Liam?"

"Been better."

"Yeah I'm sure lets get you back." she says giving me a sad look. I nod getting up. I think I already have my answer. Her and Beau talk more about our wedding he gives her a date and time and blah blah blah. We wait for Martin to come in. Since I liked him and was use to seeing him we just had everything sent to him.

"Afternoon boys." we both nod as a greeting. I guess Beau's mood plummeted. "Well Liam all that's wrong is low iron. You'll need to take iron pills buts that's it." he says with a smile on his face. Who cares about iron levels.

"Who gives a fuck about iron! What's my results?!" I yell at him. He laughs at this. Do you see something funny because I sure don't.

"That is the results."

"The aids test damn it." I practically growled.

"Liam they are negative. We tested for everything all negative but you have very low iron levels a simple pill everyday is all you need." he says handing me a prescription slip. I just stare at him stunned. NegativeNegativeNegativeNegative. That's all going thru my head is I'm Negative. I honestly wasn't expecting that. I just stare at the doctor stunned. I honestly expected the worst.

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