bang, bang [ziam]

505

l.p

the malik's gorgeous home is filled with cake and friendly people and chatter, but all i can see is zayn. it nearing midnight and i'm standing beside safaa in the kitchen with flour in my hands and hair, gazing across the room at the beautiful man by the fire place. slouching awkwardly into himself with a bottle of beer in his hand, there's a man his age laughing at something zayn had said and curling his fingers around his arm. apparently they used to be friends as teenagers but it seems a little too friendly for my comfort. the flames are blazing behind them and there's some song playing behind my ears to urge me to do something that my better conscience wouldn't agree to.

i have absolutely no right to be this jealous at all the attention zayn is getting from his blonde friend on his birthday. given the fact that he wanted us to be friends and as he was going through the most hideous time of his with agonizing treatment that i had no idea about -- i had aloud myself to sleep with someone i didnt care for, danielle. but here i am, despite all the awkwardness of our failed relationship that entails us, i'm grinding my teeth and brewing murderous thoughts to the chipper lad that stares at zayn with a disgustingly sweet twinkle in his eye. i take a deep breath, trying to rid the images of my hands wrung around the neck of one of zayn's many admirers.

"zayn will love it!" i snap out my trance of envy, wishing i could touch zayn so openly in front of everyone and be the relationship that he can introduce his parents to. i stare at zayn's gorgeous little sister who selflessly made him dozens of cakes today for his birthday. she had made such a big effort and i genuinely just wanted to be around her and help out with the baking. at this point in the day, zayn would take a bite of the cake and with her back was turned, he'd spit it back out. i didn't blame him, after the third cake he was close to vomiting from consuming far too much sugar.

i found myself floating through his house, full of people congratulating zayn on his surgery and his twenty fourth. i was trying to not make my glaring obvious at zayn's friend, but it only made notice me. zayn's large brown eyes glazed over with a smile at me and my heart stopped beating at the sight when he nodded me over. he took a swig of his beer and unintentionally raked his eyes down my body. i'm wearing a rather tight shirt of his that he lent me to wear tonight and he seems to relish in the way it clasps to my hips and shoulders. i don't know how he can say he wants a friendship considering the look in his eyes that tells me he wants to bend me over the nearest corner.

it's ridiculous but i feel oddly proud that i caused his friend to try and interrupt his obvious eye-fucking with a wave of his hand in front of his face to snap him out of it. i chuckle quietly, shyly making my way over to the slightly inebriated men.

"hey ba-- lee." zayn corrects himself automatically, his eyes glassy and so warm that i want to take a dive in them and live in there forever. he senses that i'm incredibly jealous by how close his friend is standing next to him and it's strange how zayn just knows what i'm feeling without having to say anything. i feel like such a dick though when zayn subtly moves away from him, because it's not like we're together. but he seems to respect it anyway, staring at me fondly. his friend is oblivious to it us and zayn seems to have forgotten that there's anyone beside him or in the room for that matter.

"you having fun?" he smirks, licking his lips and i want to drag him off somewhere so i can take advantage of this drunken openness between us. his eyes continue to fleet over my body, looking as desperate as i am. whatever it was between us when we touched each other, it was irreplaceable. i couldn't even describe how euphoric it felt to have his hands on my body or have him inside of me. it was like the amount of love we had for each other was fully understood when we kissed or worshipped each other's bodies - it connected us fully. despite all of the shit we went through, it didn't stop the lusting and pining over each other. i felt a stir in between my legs at the thought of it and zayn just continued to smile devilishly and raise a brow at me.