Take me to church → derek hale [2]

9: emotions=chaos

     Grace couldn't seem to control the tears that flooded down her cheeks as she entered the train station, covering her mouth so her sobs would quiet down as she went down the stairs rapidly, walking swiftly towards a train when she was held back by the arm, her body making contact with someone's torso.  She took that opportunity to bury her face in their chest and cry. Grace gasped for breath as she cried against their chest, gripping the cloth of the person's shirt as he rubbed circles on her back, mumbling things in her ear to try and calm her down. It was different crying in someone's arms versus crying by yourself. She felt like she was finally getting it all out. And, for once, she didn't care about being in the same room as him, she just wanted to let it go, to finally feel better and if it was with him then so be it.

     It seemed pretty ironic how he was the reason everything was happening yet he was the one making her feel better right now. Derek couldn't help but have her cry against him, even after she let it be known that she hated him and blamed him for everything. She knew, deep inside, it wasn't his fault. Sure, he should've told her earlier to prevent this chaos but she wasn't the only victim. She needed to move on. It was tiring, especially for her, to feel like this all the time. She wanted to be happy. She wanted to move on.

     Derek wanted that for her too. Derek wanted to see her smile again, to see her playful side he got to know when they first met. He wanted her. He wanted her so bad, it was actually quite frustrating. It was frustrating how he saw her with Isaac, how he imagined them acting with each other, the same way she used to be with Derek. Sometimes he blamed himself. What she said was true, he ruined her life. She was only sixteen and had already been pregnant and was now forced to live in danger, all thanks to him. Maybe if he wouldn't have talked to her on the woods the first time they saw each other, if he wouldn't have let her stay in his burned down house blaring Halsey, if he would've controlled his emotions like he always did, then maybe, just maybe, this wouldn't have happened. Grace McCall wouldn't be suffering from self esteem problems once again, she wouldn't cry herself to sleep, she wouldn't think of the brooding male that she was now even more drawn with, and she wouldn't be double-thinking the relationship she could already have with Isaac if she hadn't met him. If their eyes would've never glanced at each other to see if they were okay. If their lips would've never twitched upward at the sight of each other. If their bodies hadn't touched in a way that showed how much they meant to each other. If their mouths wouldn't have let out growls of agony at the emotions they felt for one another. If Grace McCall would've never crossed paths with Derek Hale.

     He rested his head on top of hers, his hands resting on the small of her back, her muffled sobs making his heart break. Her body shook under him as she tried to control her breathing, her head still repeating the same words her mother spat at her as she threw her out, involuntarily showing Derek the scenario as she gripped onto him. "It's okay, Grace, it's gonna be okay," he whispered reassuringly, "Listen to my heart. Try and breathe with it."

     Grace listened to the beat of his heart, calming herself down to the steady sound until she eventually did. Derek cupped her cheeks so their eyes could meet, her puffy red eyes meeting with his, her breath still shaky from crying so much. "Let this be your fuel, Gracie. You've cried it out, now build your walls and use your pain as anger. You are strong and you're worth so much more than feeling like this. Bad things happen and there's no way to change that but don't let that bring you down, let it be the wind beneath your wings."