Translation of Love

17

Second Guessing

When I wake up the next day quite early, my phone is lying beside me.

I smile when I remember what Taeyoung did to help me sleep. Then I rise up—the younger girl is still asleep—and quickly change my clothes. When I leave the room I'm startled to see the woman sitting on the couch, watching television on mute. She turns to look at me, instantly getting up and smiling.

"I have to go now," I say in Korean.

"Oh, your Korean is good! You should stay longer." She then continues to speak in Korean, fast and way too complex for me to comprehend.

I blank at her words and turn to leave, saying, "I have to go back and study. Thank you for everything."

I hear her say "study" to herself as I leave. Maybe it is rude to leave so early, but I need to get out of here before I start thinking about my mom.

I take the walk to the bus stop, waiting for the right bus to show up. Then I'm on the hour journey, bus hopping until I'm close to the university.

***

When I make it to my bedroom, I toss my things and immediately jump into the showers. When I get back I text Koko, and she comes to my room.

"So how was it?" She sits on my bed, her hair now cut short to her chin in a way that makes her look edgy.

"Awkward. Like very awkward." I respond, putting away the things that I had brought with me. "He's a restaurant owner." She "oohs" at this. "No, no, it's a run-down restaurant. I was expecting him to be rich—that would have made it easier to hate him. But after seeing how he lives I just, I can't."

"Oh..."

"But he didn't even acknowledge that I'm his daughter, the closest he came to it was telling Seulgi that I'm her half-sister."

"Wait... Seulgi?"

"She's this little brat 16-year-old. Completely rude to me. I felt like she was waiting for me to give up and leave."

"Well, you know what? Props to you for actually showing up," That's what I'm saying, I think to myself. "I probably wouldn't have gone."

While she reassures me for feeling bad for leaving so soon, I still have so many questions. There's no way my father can afford to pay for my tuition, so where is it coming from? And he invited me over but didn't talk with me alone? What was the point? Did he just not find the right time? Was he just nervous like I was?

***

It's the next day. Classes are finished so Koko and I are walking around campus, our stomachs begging for something more substantial than a coffee and cookie to satiate them.

"Sohee!"

I momentarily hesitate. No one calls me Sohee except for four people—Taeyoung, Junwoo, Minjun, and my professor. As much as my stomach churns in hopes of Taeyoung, I know his voice too well now to mistake it for this light, friendly voice. I turn my head towards the sound. Sure enough the soft voice matches an equally as soft face.