Translation of Love

47

Family

I'm sitting on the bus, Koko's words from earlier ringing in my ears.

"At least text him, let him know you're alive."

With a heavy sigh and cold hands, I look for his name on my phone. My thumbs pause over the screen.

소희: 보고싶어
[I miss you]

I delete the message before typing another one, and another one. Finally, I settle for something simple.

소희: I'm going to my father's house for a while

I hit send and bury my phone in my bag as if it might blow up at any moment. After a while, I hear the beep of a new text message, but I can't bring myself to read it.

I feel relieved when I walk through the doors of the restaurant. I greet the new waiter and head to the back and up the stairs. I dump my things in Seulgi's room.

"Yah!" The young girl yells.

"What, where else am I gonna sleep?" I deadpan, glaring at her for a moment before we both break out into soft smiles. It'll be nice to spend a week with my sister.

That night the two of us lie on her floor with skincare masks on our faces. We both stare up at the ceiling, talking about Seulgi's latest crush.

"I thought his name was Minhyuk?" I question.

"No! I told you Minhyuk started dating this other girl. She isn't even pretty, but whatever," she mumbles the last sentence.

"Okay then, who is this new guy again?"

"언니 [sister], you're so slow," I can't see her but I can almost hear her eyes roll around. "His name is Yoo Changsub."

"Okay, Yoo Changsub, got it."

"Anyways, like I was saying, before the semester ended he said we should hang out during the break." She turns her head slightly to watch my reaction as if she's expecting me to squeal in joy for her.

"Okay?" I turn to look back at her with an unimpressed expression.

"What do you mean okay? He basically asked me to be his girlfriend!"

I chuckle and look away. She groans at me and crosses her arms over her chest.

"Well, what's new with you then? What's so great about your love life?"

I know she doesn't mean to, but her words cause my smile to immediately fall. My eyes scan over the ceiling as if looking for something that'll never be there.

"I don't know," I say softly.

"What?" She turns her whole body over in shock to face me. Her facemask peels off from one side as a result, and she hastily sticks it back on as her sparkling eyes glue onto me.

"I don't know. It's complicated."

"Oh don't give me that lame excuse. Tell me."

I sigh before filling her in on the disaster that was New Years Eve.

"Oh... I guess that kinda sucks," she mindlessly says as her eyes zone out beyond my face. "But still, shouldn't you talk to him? It's not like he cheated or anything."

I feel my body tense up defensively at this, "of course he didn't, he wouldn't do that."

"Then why are you so upset?"