Translation of Love

52

Start Over

My room is already prepared for me when I reach Seoul. The new place my dad lives in is much bigger than the tiny hole in the wall they were in before. The stairs to their living quarters are actually sepearted and the restaurant is right beside it. Seulgi greets me as if I never left, but by the extra inch added to her legs and definition on her face, it's clear it's been a while.

I helped them open the new restaurant, which is a Korean/Western fusion eatery. Of course, I helped out with the recipes for the Western side of things. The restaurant does well from the get-go. It's busier than it ever was in the old location, mostly because it's on a busy street. We hire two extra waiters to help keep up with the busy atmosphere, but this new hecticness seems to make Seulgi's mother come alive. It's like she's been waiting for this buzz all this time. She's constantly smiling, sometimes even singing as she cooks the food in the kitchen.

My father smiles more too, partly because he doesn't have to worry about making ends meet anymore, and also because I'm here. He constantly looks at me, grinning, telling me how happy he is that I'm here living with him like a family.

I go to a school to prepare for the next TOPIK test. It's going to take a while for me to feel confident enough to attempt it, but it feels good to work on something I'm truly passionate about.

Coming back to Korea wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. I remember freaking out on the plane ride. There were too many hours spent by myself, alone with my thoughts and anxieties. I often got up from my seat and paced around the giant plane. One time the flight attendant actually put her hand on my arm and asked if I was okay. I was so embarrassed that I didn't get up again after that.

However, when I landed back in Incheon, it felt like I had never left. The smell of the air did not strike my senses as foreign like it did that first time. After resting on an airport bus for about an hour, I'm able to hail a quick late night taxi quite easily—contrary to my first time here. I had no idea what I was doing and had to go to an information desk and ask for someone who spoke English while dragging my two pieces of luggage.

As soon as my feet hit the ground, things fell into place. My nerves subsided and my heart rate slowed to a natural pace.

However, there was one thing that was strange.

My ride in the taxi was going very well. I had a stupid smile on my face as I looked out the window. The taxi driver was very friendly and asked me questions, thinking I was just visiting.

But then all of a sudden I felt my mind numb, my eyes zoning out until the scenery blurred. There was a song playing, one I hadn't heard before, and once it began the taxi driver cranked the volume, saying he liked the song. The slow piano melody and solemn vocals of the singer momentarily made the anxieties return. My hands grew clammy and tears even built up in my eyes. I blinked in annoyance at this rush of water; I wiped them frantically as they poured down. The driver asked if I was okay and I just laughed and said I didn't know what was wrong. Eventually, the dam built itself back up over my eyes, the water seizing as the song changed to an upbeat track.

Other than that time, things have been very good. I've been happy, happier than I have been in a while.

Koko isn't in Korea for the first month that I'm back. Her and Max had gone to Japan during her summer break for about a month. They kept sending me cute selfies and photos of the food which just made me angry at her. When she does return, her hair is bright pink. After looking at her in shock for a while I'm able to return her hug. I missed her big, toothy smile and eccentric personality. I spend most of my days off with her, and she's even been hanging out at home with Seulgi and I. I only see Max sometimes, briefly, and our conversations are usually pretty one-dimensional. However, whenever I see him I can't help but grow itchy, wondering about the others. He does not hang around them much, but he surely must know how things are going with them.

I'm never brave enough to ask though.

So I just live my life as it is now. Starting anew, paving a new direction for myself. And while I feel a new sense of hope and excitement for my future, I also can't ignore the moments of emptiness that sometimes strike. A sort of momentarily lost stream of consciousness where everything halts. A moment, like when a dark cloud moves over the sun, blocking it's light as it slowly moves its way past it. But it always subsides, and the sun always shines again.

It doesn't take long for the scenery to be painted by the colours of Autumn—reds and golden yellows dotting the city. It also doesn't take long for me to fall into a routine that I don't want to break out of. A routine that includes not even thinking about dating.

"Sohee, I'm serious, I found such a good guy. You and him would get along so well!"

One of the employees at the restaurant, Hyemi, has been trying to set me up on a blind date for over a month now, and every time I politely turn her down. It was probably the only thing I wasn't prepared for. Koreans seem to meet new people through other people and go on dates through set-up blind dates by their friends. This norm has caused people to try and set me up on dates multiple times, including some older ladies who visit the restaurant quite a bit that tried to set me up with each of their sons. They ended up fighting over whose son would be the one to go on the date.

It's happened so much that I've begun to grow irritated by it. Maybe I'll just agree, once, and prove to myself that it was a terrible decision all along. Because the one person who I trust most when it comes to taste is Hyemi, I finally let her set me up on a blind date.

Here goes nothing.

. . .

A/N:

I really like the next few chapters.

Also, please don't comment on not understanding why Sohee isn't immediately trying to find Taeyoung. I don't know about you, but after ending something on a sour note, not seeing the person again for eight months, and especially after knowing they won't reply to your message or even talk about you to others, I and others usually end up just kind of moving on. I know it sounds terrible, but time changes a lot of things, and all of this time has caused Sohee to feel too detached from that part of her life to just simply pick it back up again. It's incredibly difficult to do, and she may miss him, but she has no idea what to do about it. So don't be angry! Things will get better, I swear, but please understand why things aren't just fine and dandy and just like before as soon as she comes back.

xx Sooaura