Translation of Love

25

Scared

I'm lying in Taeyoung's bed. I had washed off what I could of my makeup after Taeyoung was done taking care of his business, and this time wore a white t-shirt.

Taeyoung's, of course.

"Man, I'm going to end up losing all of my shirts soon."

"You get so many free clothes from brands you model for, I'm helping you."

"Oh really?" He laughs.

I pull the covers over me, snuggling into his familiar bed. His smell lingers on the sheets, and I bury them over my body. It is addicting; his scent. Who would have thought the smell of another human being could have such an effect on you?

I feel so comfortable here, as if the mattress has an indent of my body in it, waiting for me to fill it up. It feels homier than my own bed back at the dorm. I feel like I actually belong under these covers.

Before Taeyoung crawls in too, I pull the sheets over my head.

"Yah, where'd you go?" He laughs at me, sitting on the bed. My giggles are muffled by the bed sheets. "Where'd my Sohee go?"

He shoves his long legs under the sheets. Now he fills in the indent of his body on the mattress too.

"Oh! What's this?" His hand reaches under the covers to wrap around my waist, pulling me on top of him. My head peeks out from the sheets, face met with his. "Aigoo, what a cutie." He strokes my messy hair.

I lay my head down on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. He continues to stroke my hair mindlessly, humming some tune I don't recognize. We lay like this for quite awhile, until my curiosity grows too strong.

"Taeyoung?"

His humming stops.

"Yes baby?"

My heart beats heavily against my chest. I wonder if he can feel it against his own heart.

"Can I ask about your first relationship?" I say these words carefully, worried that I may have asked too much of him.

His hand ceases to stroke my hair. After a pause, he says, "Of course. It's only fair you know."

"When did you start dating her?"

"I had a huge crush on her in middle school, and that carried into high school. Her name was Yerin." A pause.

"She was the most popular girl amongst the guys. She dated a lot but always broke up with guys after a few months. I should have taken that as a bad sign. But in high school, at that age, we tend to romanticize people, making them seem perfect when in fact no one can ever be."

"I think she was just bored. I wasn't popular in school. I studied hard and stayed quiet. My group of friends weren't the kind to hang around her, so I think she just wanted to try something different. She knew I liked her. Almost everyone knew." He sneers in spite of himself.

"She asked me out, and of course I felt amazing. Shockingly to everyone around, we ended up dating all throughout senior year, and kept dating even after. We went to different colleges though. She's in Seoul too, but we had to plan our meetings. Things were getting serious, at least on my end they were."