Modern Magick

Toil and Trouble: 13

By the time we arrived back at Home, Jay still had not quite forgiven me for bundling him out of Ashdown library like a sack of clothes. He was waiting for me in the hall, cool as a marble statue, with Indira at his elbow and no sign of Melissa.

'Hello,' I said, with a hopeful smile. I cannot absolutely confirm that I did not employ surreptitious use of the puppy eyes, too.

'We need to see Milady right away,' said Jay, unmoved.

'I did not, by my interference, mean any slight upon your very excellent abilities.'

'I was fine.'

I tried not to stare too obviously at the bruises on his face. 'I know!'

Apparently I failed, for the brow came down in annoyance and he involuntarily touched the biggest of the bruises: a great monster of a thing adorning his right cheek. 'No one's ever died of a little bruise.'

'I mean... I'm not a doctor, but that probably isn't true.'

I thought I saw the corner of Jay's mouth twitch, but I was probably mistaken. 'Shall we go?' said he, and gestured for me to precede him up the main stairs.

Desperate times, desperate measures. 'How many ways, can I say sorry...' I said melodically, drawing out the last word.

'Is that... are you using Phil Collins against me?' It wasn't his mouth that was twitching this time; there was a definite spasm going on in his left eye.

'Who can resist Phil!'

'One or two people,' muttered Indira, though when I looked at her she tried her best to outdo her brother's statue impression.

'So,' said Jay meaningfully, and pointed in the direction of Milady's tower: up. 'Heaven's that way.'

I sang about paradise, sashaying up the stairs.

'It can't be heaven and paradise up there,' said Jay. 'Pick one.'

'I say both.'

'You're just hoping for a promotion.'

'I was recently offered a rather tempting job opportunity, which I very loyally turned down. A raise isn't too much to hope for, is it?'

'Wretch.' I may not have been able to see Jay anymore, having smartly turned my back upon him. I could, however, hear the smile.

Hah.

'Bill!' I called. 'I have no doubt that you and Milady will be delighted with one another.'

'I shall be happy to make the acquaintance of so esteemed a person,' Bill replied 'Her ladyship...?' Bill trailed off into an expectant pause.

'Yes,' said Jay.

'Her ladyship of which family?'

Bill, bless him, was labouring under the impression that Milady had a name. Or that any of us might know what it is.

'Just Milady, Bill,' I called, as Jay floundered for a response.

'Milady is a title, not a name.'

'In this case, it is both.'

Bill was silent, either with indignation or with shock, I couldn't tell which.

'Welcome back, Jay,' said Milady when we reached her tower room. The air sparkled with a special brilliance which usually meant that her ladyship was extra pleased. That of course meant that she had been extra worried, even if she had shown little sign of it before.