Chapter 7

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I took their lives

I control death.

I stared at my hands in disbelief. How could I be so cruel? Tears ran down my face and fell on my hands.

Red tears.

I, desperately, tried to wipe the red away. New red tears took their place. I frantically wiped the red on my jeans, on the floor. I did not want to see the red.

There was a sound of fluttering of wings.

My wings, black wings had come out and spread wide.

The black wings, the red tears, the ability to take people's lives, the cruelty resting within me.

It was haunting me.

I don't want this.

I reached out to pull my wings away. To tear them off my back. To remove them forever. But they did not budge. I wailed in agony, but they remained unharmed in their glory.

My eyes landed on the corpses.

Terror. Agony. Anger. Pain. Hurt. Fear.

Was all that filled me.

I touched one of the corpses, immediately, the body was turned into ashes. The other palm reached out to touch the other. The same fate happened to him.

I stepped back screaming and horrified. I dubiously stared at my glowing red hands.

I stood up and ran. I ran as fast as I could, wanting to get away from the scene.

No no no no

I didn't do this.

I did not kill anybody.

I did not burn anybody's body into crisp.

I did not show endless cruelty.

I did not do anything.

The thoughts kept on repeating in my head, as I ran and ran. I don't know where I was going. My heart was aching.

I felt guilt, pain, agony, anger, terror, hurt, horror, and a lot more mixed emotions I could not describe.

The rain started pouring down. Heavy rain. The ferocity of the rain matched the feelings inside me.

The images of me taking their lives took over my brain.
Their groaning and screaming voices as the background.

Morrisa......

Morrisa......

Morrisa......

Morrisa......

The whispers had returned.

The images.

The glowing red hands.

The black wings.

The sounds of people howling in pain and agony.

Morrisa......

I ran faster and faster into the dark night.

My palms covered my ears, I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see, didn't want to hear.

Morrisa......

It continued.

Morrisa......

Morrisa...... 

Morrisa...... 

The voices grew louder. The images took over my conscious sight.

The sounds were incredibly loud this time. My eyes couldn't see anything but the images.

I fell to my knees. I couldn't take it anymore.

"STOP!" I held out allowed. The sounds and the images continued. "Please stop!" I wailed.
"Stop! Please stop. Stop..... Stop... Stop" my voice was now barely just above whispers. My head was on my lap, palms covering my ears and eyes tightly closed.

Everything had quietened down. The rain had stopped.

I cried on my knees. Letting out large sobs. I cried and cried there for hours. I cried for the lives of the two men. I cried for the fake family I lost. I cried because of the torture I went through to find myself. I cried because of the monster I had become.

I cried until no more tears were left.

But the tears were still red.

The wings were still there.

The faint sounds of howling, screaming people were still there.

The chant of my name was still there.

My hands were still red and glowing.

The universe was conspiring to make me accept myself. To make me accept what I chose. I had chosen this. I had chosen this when chose to be myself.
I am a monster. I had always been and I always will be.

I had to accept myself.

Quietly, I stood up from the ground, dusted my jeans, and wiped the red tears. My clothes were red.

That was when I noticed the surrounding.

I was in the forest.

How did I reach here? For as long as I know, I had been running straight without taking an inch of turn. And the alleyway leads opposite the direction of the forest. How did I reach here?

"I brought you here."

I turned around to find no one. I looked around but nobody was there.

"I am within you."

The voice was very manly and hoarse. I had never heard it anywhere.

"I am around you. I am inside you. I am everywhere you think."

"Who are you?" I demanded.

"I am not finished yet." there was a pause
"You are here to find yourself. Find yourself and so you shall find me"

"But how am I supposed to find myself? I already have myself!"

There was no response.

"Excuse me? Anybody there? I can't understand. What...."

I trailed off. It was of no use. He had left. Who he was nobody knows. What was he talking about only he knows.

I looked around me. I had to get out of here.

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