We Will Meet Again

I am here

APOV
My heart torn to pieces as the words register in my brain.
Heck even my soul weeps for him!
Poor Theodore. All I want is to pull him up in this instant and suffocate him in an embrace to soothe the ache that pounding fiercely within that is just contained in this essay, but I can't as I am confronted by an empty classroom.
I am finally getting the glimpse of him, piece by piece, the story behind those grey, sad eyes. And it's not that of a happy child.
Happy child. How I wish I could take your pain.
I am still stuck up in my world as my class rush in, smiles plastered across their faces, all except for one. My heart weeps more.
My eyes lock with his, held together by some bound that I just can't put a finger on it. I master up a smile that is nothing compared to ocean of tears that my heart and soul have wept and still are.
Discreetly I take a long breath of fresh air to gain some self -control.
"Good morning class," I say with a smile that big that I'm sure my mouth will fall off.
As I make my way to my classroom, I spot Theodore sitting all alone next to the swings. I observe, considering all small details but one stands out with bright neon lights.
He's got no one.
I approach him, my heart hammering in my chest not with fear for him but fear that will he ever allow me to help him, that I could heal the wounds he has got.
"Hi Theodore. How's lunch."
"Fine. Thank you Miss Steele."
"Please call me Ana. Don't make me that old I'm only 24," I smile up to him and offer him my hand and continue, "come, there is something I want to talk to you about."
I can his eyes scrutinize me and I'll be damned if I'm wavered by that even anything that ranges from everything could come spitting out from his mouth.
Didn't I mention that children are unpredictable?
"Theo, I want to talk to you about something today. You can simply say no if you don't want to talk about okay because I'm not going to force you to do something you don't want to do. Are you alright?"
"I trust you." he says with no fear, without any doubt, and I am shocked to the core. I cant stop the words from coming out as they tumble out of my mouth as curiosity has won the tug of war as I say;
"Why trust me? I only know you for a few days."
"You look nice and you are kind to me and no one is like that to me except for nana and aunt Mia."
"Tell me why you wrote that in your essay. Christ Theo, is there something troubling you? Please, you can tell me."
"I cant," he hesitates, running his hands on his grey trousers. "I don't want you to feel sad for me."
His words brought me down to memory lane as I remember uttering those exact words.
It was when everything was so perfect that now I actually believed in Utopia because nothing hurt as much as I have been hurt and am still hurting on. I was so happy that Ray even said, "You are my haven. You are brighter than the sun that you even scare away the darkness. That you show the evil shadow that will bring you down every time you strive for success."
But when got into the car accident I felt like I was alone in the world, and I felt my light fade away. I think I learnt that moment when I was 12 that its just safe to bottle everything up to feel yourself safer but you are lying to yourself because you are slowly killing yourself with the immense burdens and you bury yourself in hate, worthlessness and misery because you feel better yourself, that you don't want anyone to feel bad for because of the fear of being criticized, because of the feeling of being ridiculed.
And I learnt that lesson the hard way.
I stand from my chair, crouching down next to Theodore and hold his face with my shaking hands and tell him the lesson I learnt the hard way.
"Theodore," I whisper, words caught up in my throat, "its not about someone feeling sad for you. It is about sharing what you struggle with because you just cant take it no matter how you convince yourself if you tell someone you really trust, who truly cares for you."
I take his essays from my desk and give it to me. I tell him to read the last paragraph and so he does.
"i wish sometimes I was not alone, I wish dad could be with me in some days, that he didn't lock himself in his study. I have heard nana Grace plenty of times tell me that she loves me. I know that he loves me but how come have I not heard that from my daddy even though many dads say that a lot on tv and other kids. I feel like I don't belong anywhere."
"Baby, you do belong somewhere, you just have not realized it. Teddy, you said your daddy loves you. I'm sure he does. All you have to do is ask but if he doesn't say those words, its not the end of the world."
Tears escape from his eyes as he regards me as silence dwells inside the room. He throws himself at me and I cant resist to hug him back. I wipe the tears from his eyes, brushing off the hair from his face.
"Ana," he whispers against my chest, "why did you call me 'Teddy'?"
I flash a genuine smile to him, blushing as hell as I realize my words and say to him, "Is it okay. its just that you look so cute. Can I sometimes call you Teddy? I promise I won't say it in front of your friends."
Its like I hit a nerve as he gazes at me, his eyes pained. "I don't have friends." he mutters softly that if I wasn't so close to him I wont hear.
Two people came across my mind who are the perfect delegates:
Gabriella and Scott.
Introductions were made between the three and boy am I happy for the first time today about my ingenious plan.
I slip away as I attempt to call the numbers Theo has given me.
The first one was nothing but a waste of time as the assistant came through blocking me from speaking to Theo's father. Fucking hell! I am the teacher of your boss' son you ass, I quietly said to myself as she hit a nerve by talking shit that irritated me more.
I guess some people really know how to waste their breathes.
But I managed to reach Theo's grandmother, who I sensed by the tone of her voice, was worried the pants, or let me rather say the skirt out of her, as she conversed to me.
Afterschool arrived rather to quickly as Theo's nana entered as the last of the students left the classroom. She sat across the room, chocolate brown eyes regarding me with concern, with news she has no heart of hearing.
"I'm sorry to interrupt your afternoon Mrs. ... Grey," I breath out gathering my notes for our meeting.
"Nothing is more important than my grandsons life. Oh tell me Miss Steele," she paused and looks across the room to eye Theodore as he draws in his drawing book from his desk, "He's only been here for only a week. So help me Lord! I hope everything is not that bad."
"Mrs. Grey, I think its not your type of wrong but Theo ma'am, he is struggling. I hope you have seen that." my eyes plea up to her for her to understand as I tell her my concerns, portions of Theo's essay and insecurities and my plan on how to help me.
Poor Grace Grey. She was like a stray dog, hopeless but having that hint of hope. My heart broke for her as she left after the meeting looking beaten, walking out with her only grandson.