CAPTAIN | c.evans [1] ✓

thirty seven.

groupchat.

THIS IS WHY WE HAD A CIVIL WAR
[ 10+ participants ]

WIDOW;
CHRISTOPHER ROBERT EVANS!

TEAM CAP;
Oh god.
What did I do?

STARKY;
Carmen, honey, do I have to pummel Chris?

CARMEN;
Uh, why?
Chris did nothing wrong.
Quite the opposite, actually.

RUSSIAN GIRL;
So the article was true?

TEAM CAP;
Yes. The article was true.
I finally made my move.

CARMEN;
And I'm no longer single. 😉

BABY SPIDER;
Oh my god.
You're for real, right?
I can't deal with the emotional pain if this isn't real.

SOLDIER;
Finally.
He never shut ups about you.

BIRD BOY;
OH MY!
YES MY OTP IS FINALLY HAPPENEING
CHRISMEN IS ON THE RISE.

STARKY;
Shut up, you pigeon.

CARMEN;
Come on you two.
I ain't dealing with this.

TEAM CAP;
My girl isn't taking any of your crap.
I love saying that.

RUSSIAN GIRL;
This is beautiful.

STARKY;
I'm gonna cry.
When shall I expect Chrismen babies or a wedding?

CARMEN;
Woah. Hold up.
It's barely been two days.
And I'm not having any more kids for at least a while.

SOLDIER;
We all known that Chris wants to be a father.

WIDOW;
^

BLACK KITTY;
Oh my god. Little Evans.
I'd need someone to pray for my sanity.

TEAM CAP;
I'm gonna ignore that.

CARMEN;
Honestly, I need someone to pray for my sanity. I'm the mother of a teen girl.

RUSSIAN GIRL;
Okay, but I follow Bee on twitter.
She's honestly the cutest thing ever.

CARMEN;
I'll all responsibility for that.
I did all the work.

BIRD BOY;
Um...

CARMEN;
Mack, just shut your mouth real quick.

TEAM CAP;
Oh, man.
She's great isn't she?

CARMEN;
Thanks Captain. 😘

STARKY;
Oh man.
Do have to deal with the endless flirting now?

SOLDIER;
It'll only be worse when Chris goes back to LA.

SIGHT;
Ah. I've come back to a glorious thing.
Congrats, Chris and Carmen.

BABY SPIDER;
Honestly, I've been crying this entire time.

LITTLE ANT;
CONGRATS!
CHRIS FINALLY HAS HIS GIRL.

CARMEN;
Omg.
It's not that I don't love you guys or anything, but can we keep this on the dl?
I'd like my daughter to be able to stay out of this for as long as possible.

RUSSIAN GIRL;
Oh of course!

TEAM CAP;
Thanks, guys.
I really want this to last.
I need this to last.

BIRD BOY;
Mushy Chris is gross.

CARMEN;
Screw off, Mackie.
I happen to love it when Chris is mushy.

TEAM CAP;
😊😊❤️❤️

STARKY;
🤢🤢🤢

RUSSIAN GIRL;
This all makes my heart happy.

WIDOW;
But finally, Chris found his girl.

SOLDIER;
Yo. Where'd they go?
It's been a few minutes without any remarks..

BABY SPIDER;
Please don't tell me they're doing what I think they're doing.

BIRD BOY;
Go Chris! Get you some!

CARMEN;
Woah. We are doing nothing of the sort.
Do you not remember when I said that it'll be awhile before I had any more kids?
Yeah. I was serious about that.

WIDOW;
Slay them and their testosterone, babes.

CARMEN;
Gladly, Scar.

TEAM CAP;
We were legit just flirting over messages.

BLACK KITTY;
Thank you for not doing here.

RUSSIAN GIRL;
It's so nice to see Chris happy.

STARKY;
I told y'all that Chrismen would rise.
Look it, losers, it did.

BIRD BOY;
Shut it, coco cola can.
We all knew it. 💁🏾‍♂️💁🏾‍♂️💁🏾‍♂️