Not Ashamed

'Chapter Sixteen ✓×

The rest of the holiday goes smoothly and happily, and on Sunday, when we have to leave, Bailey begs us to stay. Naturally, I would correct myself and say Bailey just wanted their brother to stay with them, but they ended up wanting me to stay too.

"Please please please! One more night, you can leave tomorrow!" Bailey whined, their hands holding Axel's and mine, trying to pull us further inside the house.

Bailey wore the white necklace today, and, remembering what Axel had said, I obeyed and luckily didn't slip up on the pronouns. Thank God.

They wear a grey sweatshirt and a pair of baggy jeans. Casual wear, I'd say. Then again, I dress like that every day.

Axel pulled them into a final hug before insisting that we must leave and pulling me outside. We made it home with promises to call them when we get there.

Back at the dorm, Axel is all smiles.

"Did you have fun?" He asks as he lays his jacket down on his bed and sits down.

"I did." I join him on the bed, laying on my back. "Your family is awesome."

"I know. They were so proud of me when I came out they practically shouted it from the rooftops. However, every holiday awkward but supportive relatives would give me pride flags and nail polish."

I laugh at that, sitting back up and smirking at him. "Have you ever painted your nails?"

"Oh, hell yeah. It looks pretty cool actually. I think I have some in my dresser." He gets up, opening the top drawer of his dresser and finding blue nail polish. "Ta da!"

"What a lovely shade," I say sarcastically. Axel rolls his eyes playfully before a mischievous grin forms on his face. Immediately, I know what he's thinking.

"Oh, no. No no, you are not coming near me with that."

"Come on, just a little bit! It'll look good!"

He rushes over to me before I can stand up, trying to grab one of my hands so he can paint the nails. I laugh, trying to push him off without hurting him.

"Oh, c'mon, you like blue!" He insists, his eyes filled with tears from laughing. I wouldn't be surprised if mine were the same.

"Get off me, you freak!"

That only makes him laugh harder, and try harder to get my hands steady. At this point, he's basically on top of me, trying to wrestle me still. I shift in the wrong way and he slips, falling butt first onto the floor. I slip down to kneel in front of him. His head is lowered down, his hair falling in front of his eyes. His adorable state makes me feel guilty.

"Are you okay?" I ask, pushing the hair out of his eyes gently. He doesn't reply, just pouts up at me. I sigh, the guilt becoming too much. "You can paint my nails."

He perks up immediately.

"Okay!" He exclaims, not even getting off the ground to open the little bottle and holding out his hand for me to put mine in. He takes my hand, painting the nails blue with skillful precision.

"You're better at this than I thought you'd be," I tell him, smiling at him even though he isn't looking at me. I can see the smile on his face through the curls falling in front of it.

"I'd paint Bailey's nails for them all the time. Sometimes they really needed me to paint their nails a bright colour, and other times they just wanted me to get all the polish off."

"You're a good brother."

"I'd like to think so."

He takes my other hand after finishing that one, giving me strict orders not to move it until it's dry because he's sure I'll get nail polish all over the room.

He finishes my other hand, giggling for no reason and warming my heart.

"Aw, it looks so cute on you! Nail polish really suits you," he teases. I roll my eyes but admire his handy work.

"Okay okay, I'm going to go see Johnathan. Show him my cool manicure and ask him about his thanksgiving," I stand from the floor and so does Axel. I kiss him before I leave, making his little grin grow into an ear to ear smile.

"Tell him I say hi."

"I will."

I leave, walking down the dormitory halls to Johnathans room. I knock first, hearing his footsteps approaching the door before it swings open. I expect to see him the way I did whenever him and Peter fought, but that's not at all what he looks like.

His hair is done neatly to match his blue dress shirt and clean cut pants. There are no tear stains on his cheeks, no puffiness under his eyes, no redness in his eyes. He looks completely fine. Healthy, even.

What the hell happened?