25 ⇾ suicide note

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[cyldo one shot #25]

people say they don't mean what they say. that everythings a joke.
every cruel word they spit at you or anyone, 'it's just a joke'

i call bullshit.

words hurt, and not everything someone says is a joke.
and most of you know it.

this here is my suicide note.
i hope it never has to come to the point where i do commit suicide.

i've been called many mean things growing up.

i've heard them all.
all the mean names, all the rumors, and even seen every fake friend.

this note is for everyone.

every friend, every teacher, every single human who was ever in my life.

this note begins 17 years ago, when i was first born.

my dad didn't care of me because i was girl. he didn't want a girl. he wanted his first born to be a boy.

he always treated me like a slave.
he'd beat me if i didn't do something correctly.

my mom left him when i was around 5 after she found him about to slap me for waking up 10 minutes after 7am.

my mom and i had then left to go and live with my grandparents.

god, i loved them.

they got me everything. 
from my first barbie doll to my first pet.

they never treated me wrong.

i still dread the day they died.

after my grandparents death, my mom and i were left to care of their home.

it was also the end of my home school. attending public for the first time in forever, was probably the scariest thing i've encountered.

and yes, i'm exaggerating.

i didn't know how to react when i walked into the class, everyone stared and some whispered.

i minded my own business that day until a boy walked up to me. he seemed really sweet.

he talked to me everyday, he sat by me at lunch, sometimes he even walked me home. he was my only friend.

and soon, it turned into a lot more than that. 

i was head over heels in love with him. his smile would brighten my day, his laugh was music to my ears, and every time he spoke, my heart would skip a beat.

everyday, i'd fall for him even harder.

yet, he didn't know.

high school began, and i was a freshman. 
that year was horrible.

my supposed best and only friend ditched me that year.

he made the football team and started hanging out with the populars. he started dating a cheerleader, and then he completely forgot i existed.

he deleted my number. 
he completely erased me from his life.

yet, i was always at his games, still supporting him.

and i still do.

i will always be naldo's number one fan.
no matter what.

but anyways, it's senior year and i'm sitting in my room writing a suicide note that will probably never get discovered.

and if i do, i hope i'm not dead yet.

even though, this story is short.
my life was a living hell, and it kinda still is. but i pray to God, that things will look up for me one day.

and that naldo becomes the person he was back then.

sincerely,

cyd ripley xoxo

a/n:

well, i'm still alive and doing well
and this book hasnt been updated
in ages because everyone seemed
to lose interest in cyldo and randry.

but that's not what this one shot was about.

i'm pretty sure everyone here
knows what logan paul did in his vlog, which is now deleted, but i
found his actions disrespectful and straight up disgusting of him
because i have had really close
friends wanting to commit suicide.

guys, suicide is no joke.
suicide is a serious issue.
it's something that people go through every single day.

it could happen to anyone.
if anyone ever needs to talk, you
can reach me on here [@sadolans],
twitter [@babydobriks],

guys, suicide is never the answer.
you all matter and you're all beautiful, inside and out.

please talk to someone if you ever feel sad, depressed, or even have suicidal thoughts. 

i'm here for all you.

i just wanted to put that out there,
because it is a serious issue.

i love you all !

love,
evelyn

love, evelyn

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