5》Monster

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"We make our own monsters, then fear them for what they show us about ourselves."

Namjoon felt like crying

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Namjoon felt like crying. It was the first time in a long time. Until now, he had always managed to conceal his feelings. Everyone saw him as the quirky, yet tough guy. A man of high intelligence. Not the weak, emotional type. But right now, he reached his limit.

Tears streamed down his face, as he hiccupped and tried to stop the pitiful sobs from escaping his mouth. What had gotten into him that night? He had ruined everything. Maybe he had drunken too much. One second he had just been sitting at the bar with another drink in his hand, and then he had suddenly found himself in a fight with a student from his university.

He had felt uncontrollable rage, so great that it had threatened to destroy him. It had burned through him like a roaring fire, and he had felt the need to release it.

He let out a cry of shame at the thought of what would have happened to the poor victim, if that young man hadn't stepped in and stopped him. He felt incredibly grateful. He could have been capable of killing the victim, and then ending up in jail for murder.

Namjoon knew that he used to have anger issues in the past, but he hadn't had more problems for years; thanks to successful therapy.

Neither alcohol, annoying people nor frustrating situations had ever triggered him again. So what had gone wrong that night? Why?! Why me? What have I done to deserve this?

He had been arrested and put on trial for assault. Because of the circumstances, he was on bail and on free foot for the moment. But he had no clue how long that would last.

He had lost his job, the respect of his fellow students and teachers, and of his family. He might even have to go to jail. Namjoon couldn't stop crying.

He was cowered in a corner behind one of the university buildings, sitting beside his belongings. He had been kicked out of the staff quarters and fired the morning after the incident.

Namjoon knew no way out from his nightmare. He just wanted to die. He clutched his chest and pulled his knees to his chin, cowering there like a small child. Waiting for anything to save him from this hell.

"Are you alright?"

The voice sounded concerned. Namjoon looked up in confusion. His eyes met those of a well dressed stranger. He was young and tall, and wearing an expensive looking day suit. His wavy light blonde hair shone under the early afternoon sun. His brows were furrowed, and his eyes looked down at him calmly.

He was the first person that looked at him without judgement. The first person that didn't treat him like a criminal. There was a sharp pang in his heart: I don't deserve being treated like this. I'm a monster. He will leave if I tell him what I did.

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