The Way To His Heart (The Starving Squad #3)

Chapter 34: Home

Mona didn't even realize how badly she was shaking until they were already on the road. Kurap siya nang kurap, umaasang mapapatigil ang mga mata sa pagluha. Pero walang nangyayari. She was weeping silently while Brandi was driving.

"I told you not to go. Ang tigas kasi ng ulo mo, e," pangaral nito.

"A-At least, I got out alive, di ba?" pilit na biro niya.

She heard her sigh. "Barely."

Brandi let her cry while they're on the road. A part of her was regretting that she didn't let Felix speak. Gusto rin niyang malaman kung ano ang sasabihin nito. What if he wanted to apologize to her? Pero may parte rin ng pagkatao niya na ayaw nang makarinig ng isa pang pangako. Ayaw niyang makarinig ng isa pang 'sorry'. Ayaw niyang malaman na hanggang doon na lang talaga.

Mas mabuti nang hindi niya alam kesa naman madismaya siya sa sasabihin nito.

--

That weekend, pinilit niyang lumabas sina Baste at Brandi. She knew she made a promise to Fresia that she'd come by often, but she didn't want to think about it yet. Gusto muna niyang maglasing. Humanap ng lalaki. Makalimot sandali.

And that's exactly what she did. She wore the skimpiest outfit she could find in her closet. When the two Bs saw her, halos mapapalakpak si Brandi sa tuwa. Si Baste naman, kunot na kunot ang noo.

"Why are you dressed like that?" tanong nito.

"What?" She looked at her outift. "What's wrong?"

"Dapat ang binibili mong damit, 'yong hindi nagsi-shrink kapag nilabhan."

"Bagong-bago 'to," she told him, smiling. "Bagay ba?"

"You look bangin'!" Brandi commented. "Let's get you laid tonight!"

Baste grunted. "Can you not encourage her, please?"

"Why not? Matanda na sya. Let her enjoy her life."

"She can enjoy her life without getting STD."

She huffed. Hindi niya alam kung consarvative bang pinalaki ng Ninang niya itong si Baste o talagang rigid lang talaga itong tao. Kumapit siya sa tigkabilang braso ng dalawang kaibigan.

"Can you not argue, mga beh? Hindi pa nga tayo nakakaalis, sisirain nyo na kaagad ang gabi ko."

Hinila niya ang mga ito patungo sa kotse ni Baste. They're taking his car and leaving their cars in front of her house. So that means that one of them is not going to get drunk that night. Mukhang si Baste iyon.

--

The plan was to attract as many guys as possible, and then, take home the best looking one. Medyo feel na feel ni Mona na ang ganda-ganda niya nang gabing iyon dahil silang tatlo ang nilalapitan. Hindi lamang si Brandi. Hindi lamang si Baste. Kundi pati na rin siya. Pero si Baste na siguro ang nakakuha ng pinakamaraming offers, kasi magkahalong men at women ang market nito.

But she doesn't actually have the courage to take someone home yet, so she began filling her insides with alcohol. She related the bitter taste to her moving on experience. Sa una lamang naman mapait ang lasa ng alak. Once you've had enough, you wouldn't even mind the taste, just the heady experience. You will feel lighter. You will feel happier.

That's what moving on feels like. Sa una lang masakit, pero kapag nasanay ka nang wala 'yong tao, pasasaan ba't gagaan at gagaan din ang pakiramdam mo.

The only difference is that alcohol can only offer a temporary release from the threshold of emotional pain. After the experience, you will go back to square one and will soon crave for that escape again. Thus, the never-ending cycle.