* Present Day *
"Ok but that doesn't explain last night!" Ashton said looking a little more upset.
"Ok ok Ash please let me finish." I replied sitting beside him. I felt sick to my stomach about hurting Ash, and I knew there wasn't really a way I could fix this.
"So that same night after school I went with him to a frat party where he introduced me to his secret husband. See he couldn't be in the frat house if he was gay. So they didn't tell anyone, and because of that they never got to.. well um you know... and so I ended up making a deal to well yeah anytime Alec wanted to and it just never changed because it was a way for me to get over Jackson. I never wanted anything more with Alec. Ever. He was just something to be a distraction for a little while, but last night was different." I said quietly putting my head down, realizing how horrible of a person this made me sound.
"What do you mean by different?" Ashton said curiosity back in his voice.
"I didn't enjoy it at all in fact the entire time I wished for it to be over." I replied quietly.
"How come?" Ashton asked. I just stayed quiet not wanting to tell the truth. "How come?" Ashton asked again.
"It..It wasn't you." I replied quietly.
"Oh." Ashton said his eyes getting a little bigger as he began looking at the floor.
"I-I shouldn't have said that I'm sorry." I practically begged for forgiveness. I didn't want to mess up things more than I already had.
"No no it's ok.. I just give me a second ok?" Ashton said putting his hands in his lap.
"O-ok." I replied quietly wondering what he was thinking.
"So... what.. I mean how do two guys..um.. ya know.." Ashton said looking over at me.
My face began to heat up as he sat there waiting for an answer. No chance in hell I wanted to or would explain that to him.
"Why?" I asked still not sure what to say. Of all things he would say that was never one I expected.
"Well." Ashton moved to sit where he was facing me. " You said that you wished it was me and well I don't know how and if we were to I would sort of like to know what to expect before and..."
"Woah woah woah woah." I stopped him before he could finish.
"What you don't want to?" He asked confused.
"Ok slow down hot shot." I laughed lightly. "I kind of do but Ashton you have to want to yourself not just because I do."
"But I want to do something for you for once you've done so much for me." He said quietly looking down at his lap.
"Ashton. I haven't done anything but hurt you and even if I did do a lot for you that is still no reason to do something like that. Not until your ready and you want to." I replied.
"You don't realize how much you've done for me Luke. You've done so much. You know yet you've stayed. I had no one before you came Luke and even though I'm dysfunctional you stayed and some how managed to like me as more than a friend." He replied his voice was full of emotion for the firsts time.
"Hey hey hey." I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Of course I stayed. Just because your different doesn't mean your any less of a person. Ashton your autism makes you unique and even more special."
Ashton just wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly.
"Your the best friend I've ever had." Ashton said hugging me tighter. I couldn't help but smile and hug him back.
"Your the best friend I've ever had to Ashton." I replied resting my head on top of his.
"Hey Luke?" Ashton asked pulling away.
"Yes?" I smiled at him.
"If we were to be more than friends it wouldn't ruin that would it?" He asked looking down at his lap again.
"Nope.it would actually make us closer." I replied trying to help him not worry so much.
"Then Luke maybe we could." He said quietly.
"Could what?" I asked a little confused.
"Be more than friends" he replied looking over at me.
"You sure? I mean your parents and you haven't thought about it have you? I just don't want you to do something you'll regret." I replied.
"I'm sure Luke. I don't care what people think for once. I just want to be with you." He replied quietly.
I just smiled and kissed him. The kiss was slow and loving. Kind of different then any of the past kisses we had shared.
"Then you will be." I replied as I slowly pulled away.
Ashton smile got wider than I had ever really seen it before.
"Really?" He asked a little excited
"Yep. From now on your mine and I'm yours." I replied.
His smile somehow managed to get bigger making his dimples come out. He was the definition of perfect especially right now so happy.
"Wouldn't want it any other way." Ashton replied moving closer to me.
"Me neither." I replied kissing his head. "What do you say I make us some breakfast?"
"It's almost noon." He giggled.
"What's your point?" I laughed getting up off the bed. "Breakfast food is good at anytime."
"I guess you have a point." Ashton laughed following me to the kitchen.
"So what's your breakfast preference?" I asked standing with the fridge door open looking for something to make.
"Pancakes." Ashton replied sitting on a stool.
"Ok I think I can do that." I replied laughing.
"Should I be worried you said I think?" Ashton asked laughing just a little bit his voice also had concern in it.
"Nah, I mean how hard can it be?" I laughed getting all the ingredients I needed.
"Oh dear." Ashton replied shaking his head "we're going to die."
"Ah come on where's your positivity? Have some faith my friend." I laughed.
"My faith and positivity is where the pancakes are." He replied causing me to laugh.
"Hey why don't you turn some music on while I attempt to make pancakes?" I said before giving Ashton a kiss.
"Ok I can do that." He smiled.
I began to work on making the pancakes while Ashton scrolled through his phone looking for music. Ashton put on some music that was upbeat until suddenly a sadder song came on and I couldn't help but listen to the words behind it.
"I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them
I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again
Hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
Hear them scream, I hear them fight
Say bad words that make me want to cry"
