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— "i'm human, too!"
NOVEMBER 10: JUNG HOSEOK
==
"hoseok."
it's going to happen again. it's going to destroy places and people and lives just like it has so many times before. he chews his lip, eyebrows furrowed, as he paces up and down the wooden floor of namjoon's flat. his mind has been unsteady the past few days, and in one overwhelming wave his low attention span comes crashing down in full force. it's impossible to even grab a cup of coffee for some guy at the corner cubicle without thinking of it, of abraxas, of my family, of the mess it is going to create—
"hoseok."
he checks his phone again, hoping in the back of his mind for some miraculous text from the society saying they've found a foolproof solution to their hellish situation, or his family coincidentally informing him they've left janggwu for the next couple weeks or so, or someone telling him everything is okay, nothing is going to happen, everyone is safe. each situation is ridiculous, of course. it's just the part of himself that always spares a bit of hope for the horribly optimistic, horribly unrealistic outcomes.
"c'mon, dude, quit it!"
hoseok snaps out of it. "what? what's wrong?"
"maybe the fact that you've been walking up and down my hallway for the past twenty minutes?" namjoon stands up from the sofa, his face and voice exhausted. "i know you're worried, man. i am too. and you have full justification to be. but...but we can't do anything right now, hoseok. doubling over in anxiety isn't going to do anything for us, as hard as it is to subdue the urge."
"i know, i know. i know," hoseok repeats, once more almost to assure himself. "but god, it's been two days! it's been killing me, not knowing when the hell abraxas is gonna—i don't know, blow up the entire city or whatever."
"it's taking its time, remember? it's as sadistic as it gets; it enjoys destroying slowly when it has the power to."
"yeah, but how do we know for sure? for all we know, it could attack janggwu in a day, or an hour, or a minute. hell, maybe it's attacking the city right now."
"if abraxas wanted to attack janggwu soon, it would have done it already, hoseok."
"but how do we know that?" hoseok turns, watching as namjoon's mouth clamps back into a thin line. "look, i know i'm usually optimistic, and i grasp for every single straw in my reach. but i just can't this one time, namjoon. i can't. my family, my childhood friends, my hometown is at stake. and i know i sound like a selfish bastard, but i can't help it."
