So What If It's Us?

Break Down

TW: None

Evan's POV

I nervously wiped my sweaty hands on my pants. I fiddled with the hem of my blue striped shirt. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. I snapped out of my thoughts as Veronica walked over to the door and opened it.

"Hello Connor! Come on in and we'll start." She told him as she stepped aside. I turned around to watch him walk in. Once again, I was helpless. (LOOK AT THOSE EYES! LOOK INTO YOUR EYES AND THE SKIES THE LIMIT!) His brown hair softly swayed as he walked over to the couches. He sat down across from me and I tried not to stare into his beautiful blue eyes.

"So Connor, how has your week been so far?" Veronica asked as she walked over to us. Connor sat there for a moment.

"It's been good I guess. I went to a party a few days ago." He told her. She sighed and asked,

"Did you smoke there? Do drugs? Drink? None of those?" 

"Smoked a little bit." He shot back. Veronica wrote something down on a clipboard in her arms.

"Evan, how was your week?" She gently questioned. I gulped and responded,

"It w-was g-good. I d-didn't have a-any p-panic attacks t-this w-week." Veronica beamed and wrote something else down on clipboard. It was pretty much the truth. I almost had a few, but I had calmed down in time.

"Have you been thinking about the tree recently?" Veronica asked. I felt my face flush as I fiddled  with the hem of my shirt.

"Y-yes." I whispered. I didn't look at Veronica's most likely disappointed face, or Connor's most likely confused one. I continued to stare at the ground. Someone's placed their hand gently on my shoulder. I bit back a yelp of surprise and looked up. It was Veronica's hand.

"Evan, tell me what you've been thinking. It's okay." She told me. I stared at the ceiling as a I told her the truth.

"I've b-been thinking a-about w-what would've h-happened if I h-hadn't f-failed. H-how would my f-friends react? W-What would t-they do a-about i-it? Would t-they have e-even c-cared if I d-disappeared? No o-one e-else knows the t-truth a-about i-it but y-you. E-Everyone j-just t-thinks I l-lost m-my grip a-and t-thinks n-nothing else a-about i-it. D-Does a-anybody e-even care that it m-makes no s-sense t-that I f-fell o-out of a 40 ft t-tree? N-Nobody h-has e-even a-asked me what I w-was d-doing up t-there! One o-of m-my friends m-made fun o-of me! A-Another o-one ignored w-what I h-had to s-say a-and w-went on t-telling their s-story!" I exclaimed as hot tears rolled down my face. 

I felt myself shaking. My lungs constricted. Now Connor thinks you're a loser. He thinks you're a pussy for crying. He thinks you suck. The voices in my head told me. I let out a sob as they continued to rant on and on in my head.

The couch sagged as someone else sat next to me. I couldn't see them through my tears as they wrapped their arms around me. Their arms were warm and comforting as I cried onto their shoulder. I couldn't help but notice they smelled like spearmint and pot. 

Immediately I knew this wasn't Veronica, but I didn't care. My mind blanked for who it could be as I cried harder, letting out all of my emotions. I suddenly realized that it was Connor holding me. 

Instead of backing away, like I should've, I held onto him. He tightened his grip on me. I felt safe in his embrace. I felt comforted. 

My breathing slowed back to normal and so did my heartbeat. At least, until my mind registered the moment. Then my heart started beating quicker. Again I should've let go, but I held on for dear life.

Hi readers! Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Sorry I haven't posted in the past few days. On Sunday I saw be more chill! I got George Salazar and Katlyn Carlson to sign my playbill! There is a picture of the crowd on George's Instagram and I'm in it with my friend! Then, yesterday I wasn't feeling well and I couldn't post anything. Sorry about that. But I'm back! Thanks for reading!

-Cronch