Broken hearts (Remus Lupin)

Filthy rat

    It's been a month and a half since Remus told me he loves me. A month in a half since I almost permanently killed Charlie. Almost, sadly. Remus has been avoiding for the whole time, and I don't blame him. It annoys me though, that he's letting this affect him. He doesn't even know how I feel. I don't even know how I feel. My friends have noticed my mood change. I think everyone has, honestly.

I haven't written any songs down or practiced on my guitar because I've been looking for Ronald's stingy rat for three weeks. Right when I have my bloody hands on him he runs away like a coward.

Three weeks ago

"Ronald, can a play with Scabbers for a bit?" I asked him innocently when I saw him outside in the courtyard with Harry and Hermione. They looked at me weirdly but Ronald agree none the less. As I grabbed the little rat I squeezed it a bit in my hand. "Hey little guy how are you?" I said in fake kindness. I started to squeeze a little more until he looked uneasy. I looked at the trio and noticed they were looking at a map.

'The Marauders Map' I thought. I looked at Peter Pettigrew, the traitor. I brought him close to my face and started to whisper in his small furry ears. "My father is looking for you, Wormtail."
The rat froze in place, looking at me in my eyes. I felt my eyes go electric blue for a second until I heard the twins throwing snow at each other, laughing behind me before I felt snowballs hit me.

And that's where it happened. The rat bit me. It fucking bit my thumb! I was surprised, so surprised the I loosened my grip on it and he jumped out of my hands into the forest. All of a sudden Hermione's cat ran after him. Ron and Hermione both got up to chase their beloved pets while Harry, the twins and I just watched. Hermione was able to catch Crookshanks before he caught the rat but Ron wasn't so lucky.
He turned back to me with an angry expression. "What the bloody hell, Lani?!" He yelled. " Don't blame me! He bit my thumb. He's lucky I heal quickly." I growled slightly. Ron still seemed mad and sad which I felt bad about because I was gonna snap the rats neck.
"I'm sorry Ronald, I'll help you find him if you want. And I won't stop until we do, okay?" I said gently, putting my hand on his shoulder to show some sympathy.

He nodded slightly, before smiling. "Yes Lani thank you. And I'm sorry he bit your hand. He was probably scared of Hermione's devil cat. Look at that ugly thing." He said before seeing the look on Hermione's face. It was almost the color of his hair. She took her wand out and next thing I know a snowball flew right at Ron's face.

I started laughing until I felt snow land on my head. I looked at the twins only to see them point at one another. I glared my electric blue eyes at them, until I throw a big snowball having them both fall on their asses. We all started throwing snowballs at each other, laughing and enjoying the cold weather. As we were all together I felt eyes watching us. I looked around and saw Remus by his window. I felt my eyes turn gold in sadness.

Present time

  Ever since that day I've been looking for the filthy rat. He hasn't been in the castle and I couldn't hunt him out in the woods. I've been using The Marauders Map as well but no luck yet. I get no sleep, I barely eat and it feels like I'm being watched but by who I don't know.

  "Lani, are you coming to dinner with us?" I heard someone call from across the room. I looked up and saw Oli with Jess and the twins. They all gave me worried looks but all I could do was smile. "I'll catch up in a bit guys don't worry about me." I said, cheerfully. A little to cheerful. They all nodded and started walking to the portrait. "Actually guys I'll catch up with you in a bit, I'm going to talk to Lani for a second if that's alright."  Fred said. They nodded again and went to dinner.

  "Alright what's going on doll face?" He smirked. I laughed while pushing his arm that laid on top of my head. "Stop Fred my hair will get messy." I whined, poking his side. It must've tickled because next thing you know he spazzes out of the chair that he was seated on next to me. I heard him gasp from the floor in shock. "You did not just tickle me." He said with mock hurt. "And what if I did?" I said, sticking my tongue out. "I see someone needs to be thought a lesson." He said with a smirk.

My eyes widen in shock and horror. "C'mon Freddie we can work this out no?" I asked before pushing him back to the floor and running out of the portrait hole. "You can run, but you can't hide!!" I heard him yell behind me. I ran all the way to the doors of the Great Hall until I collided with someone. 'Please don't be McGonagall, please don't be McGonagall.' I kept thinking before I looked up and saw it wasn't her at all. But oh how I wish it was now. "Oh hey... uh my apologies Re-Professor Lupin." I said, hesitantly. He looked like he hasn't slept in days. Same as I if I'm being honest. "Remus, are you alright?" I whispered to him worriedly. "Yes Ms.Collins I am fine, I just came to get a bit of food and now I'm off to my room to grade some papers. You should go eat now before everything is gone." He said before leaving to 'grade papers'.

"No." I growled pulling him to a different corridor. "Ah Ms.Conors let go of my arm!" He said trying to pull back, but I was stronger. "How are you so strong!?" He asked before I let go of his arm. "Why have you been avoiding me? Are we broken up?" I mumbled the last part. His eyes widened. "No! Of course not love. It's just I don't need to hear you say you don't love me. I understand if you don't and I don't want to pressure you but I also don't want to be heartbroken either." He explained. "But you never even gave me a chance to tell you I do love you too!" I grumbled loudly. Okay maybe I did know how I felt.
His eyes widened in shock. "You do?" He asked. "Yes of course I do. And yes we've only been dating for a couple of months but what I feel for you, it's real." I said softly. He grabbed my face gently a gave me a kiss on the forehead before hugging me. "Merlin you have no idea how much I've missed you." He said in my hair. "I've missed you to my love." I said before kissing his lips. "I should go now, my friends will be wondering where I am. And I haven't had a full meal in a while." I said slowly walking away.

"I understand love, please after you're finished meet me in my headquarters after midnight. I want to talk to you about something." He said before smiling and walking away. I smiled too and ran to The Great Hall to eat with my friends. "Lani where the bloody hell did you run off too?!" I heard Fred asked me from across the table. "Oh no where just out and about." I smiled, before digging in to my meal waiting for midnight.