The trouble with drugs is that no matter how much pain and misery they put you through, they become a part of you. And you will always want to go crawling back.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
d e c i s i o n s
"Please, open the door, Liz."
No, I responded mentally.
"Talk to me. Please?"
As if saying please for the fiftieth time would change my mind. I was in there hours trying to watch re-runs on TV as a distraction. I ended up staring blankly at the screen as characters chatted away and passed time. I was void, empty. I couldn't think, yet at the same time, it was impossible to clear my head.
I've never felt this kind of numb in my life. I couldn't believe that actually happened. The ultimate scandal happened to me. Not someone else. Not a girl at school my friends would gossip about. I feel like that girl. Cause I am that girl.
It's like I've been so hurt to the point that I don't feel anything anymore. The fact that I felt a sense of trust at the time — I thought I knew him.
I wasn't the best makeup artist, so when the time came to go out with Jamison, I did my brows, put some light foundation over my blemishes and then applied lip gloss. Finally, I put on mascara and brushed on highlight. He mentioned a club- I didn't own skimpy clubbing clothes and Aaron sure as hell never bought me any. He didn't even like it when I wore shorts.
Deep in my drawer, I found on an old, black bodycon dress hugged me like a second layer of skin. I looked good—fúck that—I looked extravagant. I rubbed some leave in conditioner into my curls, slicked my edges, and then stepped back to look into the full-sized mirror.
My phone buzzed.
5 minutes away
My heart dropped two feet, out my ass, and down to the earth's core. I'd been nervous ever since I agreed to go out with him. I'd have to get past Aaron. I always thought that my first time partying would be a high school party with my best friends, so I'd feel secure. But then again, I never thought I'd be in that predicament. I never thought I'd be with Aaron. I never thought that my first time would be with someone that I couldn't trust.
I didn't plan to do anything spiteful to get back at Aaron. I just wanted to leave take my mind off of things. Jamison vowed to keep his flirty remarks at bay. From my perspective, he was a person I could use to escape for the night.
"Let me explain," Aaron interrupted my thoughts.
I rolled my eyes while buckling my sandals.
"I wanna talk to you face to face. Just fa a couple minutes."
"So, you wanna lie to me face to face," I muttered.
