As You Wish

Dinner

You sat in your room, first in a chair, informally. It wasn't any more comfortable to position yourself in an unladylike fashion in such a soft seat but you did so out of spite, swinging over the sides as far as you could. You were tough, but that didn't mean you were flexible. Then you moved to the floor, kicking your legs behind you, twiddling your feet while reading a boring book. Next you tried to lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, but it was to no avail.

You were bored, and not only that. You were hungry. Unfortunately, you were able to distinguish the oftentimes not mutually exclusive feelings. You groaned, knowing you didn't feel the urge to prepare a meal simply because there wasn't anything else to do.

That meant you had to get up to eat, which also included crossing paths with no less than your own, very present version of Satan. You rose from your resting place and gingerly turned the handle to the heavy, cherrywood door and did your best to quietly exit, secretly hoping in vain that he wouldn't hear you. Clearly, he did. He wasn't human after all, and you anticipated an immediate invasion of your personal protective space.

You waited before continuing, somewhat hesitant. He wasn't coming? Where was he? You looked around, seeing no one. The rest of the staff had been sent on errands, which still puzzled you. It was as though you had been deliberately left alone with Sebastian. If so why? What would be their reason for doing so? Would anyone possibly have anything to gain from that? You didn't care at that point. You were just grateful he wasn't instantaneously pestering you again.

After a few moments, you slinked out of the room entirely, and started toward the kitchen, far away from where you slept. There was a slim probability you'd get there uninterrupted, but as you continued, you remained unbothered. You smiled. Perhaps he actually listened to you. Did you have that power? You didn't think so, but the plausibility of it seemed more rational as you opened the door to the kitchen, again finding it uninhabited.

It seemed odd, but then again, Ciel was gone. No one had to prepare dinner for him, and it wasn't like Sebastian had to make anything for himself. You relaxed a little, and found breathing easy again. You reached for a knife, a hock of ham, some fruit and a kettle, finding everything you needed simply and effectively. You weren't a bad cook. Perhaps you would see to it to assist Bardroy one day. He did share your manic obsession with weapons. You hummed jovially, forgetting your previous nervousness, thinking about how pleasant a meal alone would be. You checked the clock on the wall. Very little time had gone by since Ciel left. Hours remained before he'd even begin preparations for returning. This couldn't last. Something was too good to be true about such a normal night. It couldn't remain so innocent. Not here. You put it out of your mind for the time being and walked out into the dining hall as soon as your delicious meal was prepared to your satisfaction.

You stopped, cursing. "Goddamn it."

"I don't think it's very wise to speak such sinful words the first time we converse after not seeing each other nearly at all today." You narrowed your eyes, your hands shaking in indignation, causing the silverware to clang about embarrassingly. "Not taking the Lord's name in vain is a commandment, you know."

"Not in front of you. Allow me to correct myself. Goddamn it is not what I meant. I should have been more specific. May God damn you."

"I believe he already has." Sebastian laughed, running a hand through his hair. You noticed he wasn't wearing gloves, and the violet glow of the mark on his hand was overwhelming. It captivated you, and you felt drawn to its power like a moth to a light. You gritted your teeth and remained where you stood, staring intently. Not only had he removed his gloves, he wasn't wearing hardly any of his typical servant's clothes. In fact, nothing about his appearance was formal any longer. Apart from a loose fitting tie, the only remnants of his outfit were a white shirt and black trousers. He wasn't performing for you or anyone else. He owed Ciel such ostentations, but from what you could perceive, he thought a different approach would work better with you.

He wanted to give the impression of safety. He wanted you to let your guard down, so he'd pretend to do the same. Never. No matter how nonchalant he acted, you'd never let yourself believe you could be comfortable around him as well. If you wouldn't believe it, neither would he.

Trusting him would be the death of you. "Why are you here?" You sneered.

"Am I not permitted to sit down every now and then? I didn't think you were coming out tonight so I made myself at home. I find this room relaxing." He ran his hands through his hair again, and you were instantly reminded of the night he'd done the same to yours, in a much more protective, affectionate manner. You cringed and fought the urge to drop your tray and command him to clean it up, but thought it better not to. You still wanted the food you'd worked to prepare for yourself.

"I'm hungry. This is where we eat. Where else am I supposed to go?" You could have just brought your dinner with you, gone anywhere else to enjoy it peacefully. Ciel had Sebastian bring his meals into his study all the time when he was busy. You could go back to your room easily, and return later to wash and store the dishes you'd used, or even force Sebastian to do it for you, since he just had to do everything perfectly all the time when it came to the act he put on. You refused, however, to let him frighten you away. From what you understood, he couldn't -or wouldn't- touch you, and you would not relent. You began with an over-ambitious approach. "Can't you just leave? It's not like you need to eat yet."

He smirked before leaning back in his seat, only making more of an over-dramatic display that meant he wasn't going anywhere.

"Fine." You adjusted your tactics. "Could you tell me why you're not dressed like a butler anymore?" Of course, you knew exactly why he had forsaken his prior appearance, but it gave you a reason to ask, which meant you might catch him in a lie.

It didn't work. "I told you. I've made myself at home. I'm comfortable here, and I shouldn't prevent myself from relaxing. It's not like I'm afraid of you." He grinned. You knew he wanted you to react. He knew that he frightened you.

You didn't let it show. "Fine." You huffed, thinking of another way to lay claim to the one room that wasn't free of his presence. You didn't get the chance.

"Why don't you join me?" You nearly laughed, before realising he wasn't joking.

"Why would I do that?" You felt your stomach growl traitorously. You were starving. You hadn't eaten a proper meal in days. You'd been too upset, too worried. Now that you finally had some time alone to think, you realised how hungry you actually were. You didn't want to even consider accepting an offer to dine with the Devil but you weren't leaving honorably, and you weren't going to exit in defeat to eat like a commoner alone in a bedroom. He laughed instead. He'd heard it.

"You're hungry, aren't you?" He almost sounded empathetic, like that somehow linked the two of you. How long had it been since he'd eaten? You didn't want to think about it. You didn't move, which he took as an affirmation, and leaned forward, raising an arm, motioning for you to take your place across from him. As you stubbornly stood your ground, he tried one more time to coax you forward.

It worked.

"Remember that wager I mentioned when you first discovered my little secret?" You found it difficult to breathe properly again, and nodded rigidly. "Well, I think now may be the time to continue that conversation, don't you think?"

Your appetite got the better of you, and you surrendered. You'd never admit it wasn't hunger that brought you closer to a demon that night, but the fact that he'd been right about you from the moment you knew what he really was.

You wanted to sit with him. You wanted so much more from him than you were willing to admit, but in time, everything would change.