As You Wish

Leave

The split second you got back to the room which now was your only bedchamber, you broke down completely. It took all your strength to keep from screaming in agony.

Of course, you weren't quiet enough to escape all those listening. Sebastian was with you when you heard Ciel's testimony, and he watched how you reacted to what had been discussed in the woods.

He noticed the way your expression towards him changed. He was gaining ground in your undeclared war of attrition, and he saw this as an opportunity to advance. He'd give you some time, but not much. The power your sorrow brought him had to be capitalised upon quickly. With every passing minute, you'd feel better, and his influence would be less and less impactful.

You took longer than either of you expected to get to a point at which you could breathe properly. The thoughts of what transpired, what Ciel had described, they tormented you. The more you thought about it, the less sense it made, yet at the same time, it seemed somehow inevitable, that this sick, twisted thing was somehow inextricably linked with your fate. You didn't believe in that. Predestination was idiotic.

Still, the things you were saying, you hadn't said them yet, and you never wanted to- it was as though they knew something about you, that they understood something they couldn't, and somehow they could sense what you'd been thinking about...who you'd been trying to fight. How would they know that? How could people you'd never encountered, faceless even to the boy who saw them- how could they possibly mock what you'd only been fearing in your mind, as though they could see into your soul?

What powers did this world truly hold? You wondered how nieve you actually were. He had called you that just hours ago, and it looked like he may have been more right than you thought. You hated that. You hated him! You would never trust anything he said anymore. You'd get through this on your own and then someone, somewhere, humans, good, virtuous, pure people would find you, and you'd find peace with your own kind, in place of your father and this cruel, macabre world he only escaped in death.

You knew he couldn't be anywhere but Heaven.

Neither of you would ever see Hell. You found some semblance of strength after raising your head. You'd been curled up against the doorway, not even fully entering the room before you lost control entirely, and you finally were able to stand, but not before hearing a quiet knock against the frame. The subtle vibrations against the wood felt like daggers in your back.

"Go away!" You flinched. You should have tried to sound as polite as you could, fearing Ciel had followed you, perhaps in an attempt to distract you, giving you a chore, or (you hoped) more information had come that'd change the course of the deplorable evening. You found that unlikely, but then again nothing made sense that night. Your mind swirled, not knowing what was rational anymore. You'd asked to go to bed, and that was a while ago. He seemed like the type to respect your requests when they were so properly professed. It was as though he was honor-bound to do so, and he never reacted the same for your crass, 'equal-status' remarks. If it was to distract you, it'd be odd. Even so, You had completely disregarded if not forgotten the formal address you'd left Ciel with; you weren't sure how you felt about familiarity with him, now that he was the only other human being on your side who you'd be around in the foreseeable future. He couldn't be your friend in the end, but perhaps he could be an ally. You wouldn't want that of anyone else, especially not...

"It's not Ciel." Damn it! "My Young Master has retired for the evening as well. Would you mind if I spoke with you for a moment?"

"Yes! I do mind!" You moved back against the door, slamming your body against it, rigidly blocking it off, like he couldn't break it down and kill you in the process if he really wanted to. "I repeat! Go away! I wouldn't let you in even more than him! What makes you think you have anything worth saying to me?"

"You need only open up, and I'll tell you." Despite the heaviness of the mahogany, you could almost feel it push toward you ever so slightly. Was he leaning against it, too? Was he mirroring your gesture? "You won't know anything unless you let me in."

"Never!" You choked. Your breathing hadn't exactly returned to normal. You moved a hand to your face, surprised when more tears trickled down past your lips as you attempted to shout through the wood, your stance weakening the whole time. "Go away Sebastian! Please!" You inhaled, holding your breath. You'd never said please before, especially not to him.

You know he heard. He had to have picked up on that. You'd said it so similarly to the way those monsters had mockingly repeated in Ciel's rendition of the early events of the day.

You couldn't stop yourself from saying it again. Maybe it would work in your favour, you'd get him to leave you alone if you opted for a different approach, a different strategy.

"Please, Sebastian, just leave me alone, okay? Please?"

You didn't sound sincere. In fact, for the first time that night you actually found a reason to believe you could laugh again. What was happening? Just moments ago you had been floored with grief and now, after this demon was in your midst for all of thirteen seconds you could think of smiling again?

"Are you sure about that?" He had to have been grinning. You wouldn't give him any satisfaction from this.

"Yes. Go away." You couldn't understand why in the world you felt the small twinge of regret when you ordered him to, but you felt a tiny relief from the pressure on the barrier between you, and you exhaled, dissatisfied, as you heard him leave.

"As you wish, {Y/N.}"

{A/N: So, I know the last few chapters have all ended with the same words, which are also fittingly the title of this work! I've been thinking of a way to use As You Wish effectively; when I first came up with the idea for this story I wasn't sure how I'd go about doing that, so suffice it to say, I'm still not sure. I thought about ending all of the chapters that way, but since I haven't done that from the start, it doesn't really make much sense to begin now. So, for now, that's what I'm opting for, and hopefully, I can tie it back into the whole thing and really make it cool! I know this is probably more information than needed, but it's always nice to see an author's work in progress, right? Little notes about what crazy shit I think of? Maybe one day when I'm famous off of not fan-fiction people/fans of my fiction will be like "oh did you know Britta {rich husband's last name} didn't actually have a freakin' clue what she was doing at this point? Wow! That's so interesting and I am sure glad that we know that now so we can further appreciate and revere her creative and trademarked process." Hahaha nahhh. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this part! It'll only get more interesting from here, and I'm excited to keep writing! There's a total precursor to the denouement moment that I can't wait to put into words!

Well thanks again for reading!
~ Britt}