HEART SHAPED KISSES ❁ LIL XAN

Ten

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Your POV:

We walk out of the hospital and to Diego's car in silence. He opens the car door for me and I get in. It's almost four in the morning now and I can finally sleep once we get to Diego's house.

He starts the car and begins to drive away.

"How are you feeling?" He asks me.

"Just tired." I tell him.

"I can't believe I let that happen to you, y/n." He says quietly and shakes his head.

"What do you mean, Diego? You said it yourself that we're not together. You don't have to protect me." I explain to him as I pick at my nails in anger.

My heart is still hurt from what he said to me. I really thought that we had something. He's the only person that I've had feelings for in a long time.

"Ya know, I really have no reason to be mad at you. I know what you say in your fucking songs and your attitude towards relationships and shit. I don't know why I thought that any of that would change for me. This probably happens to you with a lot of girls, huh?" I ask him. He lets out a sigh.

"It's different with you."

"Well if that's so true, then why did you go off and try to fuck another girl? Or tell me that we aren't together?" I ask him, starting to raise my voice.

"I don't know what to tell you." He says, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Really? You expect me to believe that you feel different about me, and then you say shit like that? Fuck you." It hurt me to say that. I just want to be with him. Since that isn't possible, I have to stand up for myself instead of chasing him around.

I wouldn't have been so angry if he was straight up with me and told me that he doesn't want to be with me. But, he's leading me on and trying to make me believe that he cares.

"y/n, please-"

"I don't want to hear it." I interrupt him and look out the window.

The rest of the car ride was silent.

...

We walk into his house and he leads me to his bedroom.

"Do you want me to stay in here with you?" He asks me.

I turn to him and gave him a look, letting him know that Im tired of him

"Well, I need to make sure that you don't fuckin' vomit so Im staying in here." He tells me.

He reaches into his closet, pulls out a t-shirt and hands it to me. Then, gets into his bed.

"Thanks." I say to him.

I take off my shirt and my pants. I could feel him looking at me. I pull the t-shirt over my head, it smells like him. I stay in only my underwear and his shirt. Then I crawl into his bed and turn my back to him.

I start to feel a lump in my throat and my eyes start to sting. I shut my eyes and breathe. I don't want him to see me cry.

...

I wake up to Diego's arms wrapped around me, which just makes me more upset. The sun is shining through the window into my eyes. I lay there for a minute to wake myself up.

I slowly pull myself away from Diego's arms and get off of his bed. I feel like shit.

I check my phone. It's 1 p.m. and I have so many texts in the group chat and calls from my friends. My phone was on do not disturb.

Cleo:
Where the fuck are you?
Are you okay?

Stella:
Did you leave?
We cant find you.
Please text me back when you
see this.

(5 missed calls)

Cleo:
Steven told me that Diego took you to the hospital??? Please fucking call me

I decide to text them back.

Me:
where are you guys? can i
come over and explain

Cleo:
My place. Thank god ur
not dead

I order an Uber to her apartment. I grab my jeans from the floor and put them on. The thought of putting on my shoes sounds terrible, so I just stay barefoot and hold them in my hands.

I look at Diego, still asleep. Then, I walk outside to wait for my ride.

...

I got a text from Diego,

Diego:
Why did you leave baby girl? 💔

I don't answer him.

I've been at Cleo's house for about two hours now, Stella was there too.

We've just been sitting on the couch, talking. I told them everything about what happened last night and I feel way better that I got everything off of my chest.

"I mean, I was surprised when Diego even hit you up after the first night you fucked. He was definitely into you." Cleo tells me.

"I was too but he's obviously not." I look down at the floor.

"Maybe he's just scared, because he's not used to catching feelings." Stella adds.

"I don't know. I feel like he would have tried harder to make me understand if he actually felt different about me." I explain to them.

"Just wait to see if he hits you up." Cleo says and Stella agrees with her.

"Why? So I can hang out with him and catch more feelings for him, just to be told that he doesn't want any sort of relationship with me?"

They don't say anything.

I wish I never met him.

...

I left Cleo's around 7 p.m. Once I got home I got a text from Diego.

Diego:
Im sorry, for real. I dont want
you thinkin that your just
another girl I fuck with.

Me:
then what the fuck do you want???

Diego:
You. Please 💔

Me:
prove it.

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