The Trickster's Demon (A Supernatural Fanfiction)

Chapter 4: Heartbreak

(Nova's POV)

(Warning!  There will be self-harm and attempted suicide in this chapter!  You have been warned!)

I glared daggers at Gabriel as he stood up.  His honey-colored eyes were filled with sadness so great I almost felt sorry for him.  He didn't even talk; he just turned around and walked away, only for his arm to be grabbed by Dean.  The green-eyed man gently nudged Gabriel back towards me.

"Break it." I growled. "Break the friggin trap so I can get out of here!" I was having a full blown mental breakdown.  Right now, I felt as if Gabriel, with his honey, blackberry, and lavender-scented hair and honey eyes, could calm anything down.  But I hated him.  He didn't tell me what I should've known.  He never told me once.  And now I was making a fool of myself in front of the only people that I ever really cared about.  I hated him with my entire soul.  If I even had one still.  Who knew what else he was hiding from me.

I trembled and glared at Gabriel got a step ladder and broke the trap.  In an instant, I was racing down the halls, three of the guys chasing me.  I knew I wouldn't be able to outrun them if her room was farther, but she made it there before them, slammed and locked the door.  I was panting and my heart was racing.  I could hear Sam and Dean pounding on my door.  Castiel was probably too confused to do anything.  I walked to my bathroom door and swung it open before going over to a closet.  I shuffled around for a while before pulling out a few things.  A piece of paper, a pen, and a small knife.  She could still hear Sam and Dean pounding on the door.  I wrote a quick poem down on the paper and set it where it wouldn't be found.  Hopefully.

[Warning!  Self-harm/suicidal content starts here!] (I've never written anything like this so please bear with me)

I shuddered as I stepped into the bathroom.  I turned on the bathtub in the hopes to drown on the yelps of pain I would soon be emitting.  I didn't know where the sudden urge to hurt myself came from, but I knew that it was probably the only way to fix anything.

I slowly stood up and grabbed the knife on the counter before sitting on the counter.  I put the blade to my skin and I pressed down.  Hard.  It broke the skin and I burst out crying.  The strokes of the blade got faster and more furious.  I screamed as I continued to cut my skin.  Suddenly the pounding stopped.  But I didn't.  I continued, crying and screaming the entire time.  I knew one of the brothers was going to break the door down at any moment but I didn't care.  The blood oozed out of my body, dripping onto the counter and the floor.  I got off the counter and stuck my hand inside the tub full of cold water.  I gasped as my skin hit the water.  After a few moments of me sucking breath in and the obvious sounds of someone trying to kick the door down, I got back up.  The sharp spikes of pain were now a dull throb.  I drew my hand out of the water and began cutting my arm again.  I didn't have full control over the knife, seeing as I had a cast on, so the cuts were a little sloppy.  I got back up on the counter and dropped the blade.  It clattered to the ground and I sat there, devoid of any emotion.  I glared at the blade.  Then my arm.  Then at the door, which about to give way.  I picked the knife up again and took my shirt off.  I positioned the knife above my heart and closed my eyes.

Before I had time to react, I heard the fluttering of wings and someone smacked the knife out of my hand.  I was about to protest when I felt a warm...something....holding my body.  I opened my eyes to see....wings?  Actually ones.  They were large and orangeish.  The feathers quivered and I could smell honey, blackberries, and lavender.  I immediately burst into tears and the door to my bedroom was finally broken down.  Dean entered first, then saw me and Gabriel.  I quickly hid something behind his back.  A gun.  I walked out of the room, shoving back Sam and Cas.

He was shaking almost as bad as I was.  He wasn't crying, but I knew he was dying inside.  I could always kind of tell when someone was trying so hard not to give up.  I had the sudden urge to reach out and pet his feathers, but I stopped myself.  I still hated this angel.  The angel I had grown to love so much.  How he was massaging the back on my head.  He didn't seem to care that I was shirtless.  I could feel his lips moving against my neck.

"Don't you ever try to do that again..." his voice was shaky, as was his breathing.  I couldn't respond.  I was surprised when his wings moved.  He wrapped his wings around me and I finally pet his feathers.  They were soft.  So incredibly soft.  I grabbed a fistful of them and stroked them, their softness soothing me.  I cried hard, laying my head against his warm, soft wings.  They brushed against my face, leaving me feel warm yet incredibly hollow inside.

"Please promise me you won't do that again." he breathed again.  I swear I could see and feel his wings quiver when he spoke.  I still didn't answer, just cried into his feathers.

This whole thing was a mess.  She didn't want to get hurt, and she didn't want to hurt anyone.  But both of those things had happened in mere minutes.  After a few hesitant seconds, I wrapped my arms around Gabe's neck.  He pulled his head away from the crook of my neck and stared at me, his big, honey-colored eyes filled with a sadness that broke my heart.  I started crying again and looked down.

"I'm so sorry, Gabe....I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry..." he smiled weakly and picked me up, my legs wrapped around his waist.

"Don't apologize.  Please." he seemed to have forgotten about asking me to promise him I'd never do that again.  I knew I couldn't.  Cause I knew that I would end up breaking that promise and it would hurt even more.  He laid us both down on my bed.  He nuzzled my neck and kissed it lightly.  My heart skipped a beat and I made a tiny sound.  He smiled at me and leaned forward until our lips met.  Although I was surprised, I kissed him back.  He even tasted like honey.  He pulled away from me after a few seconds and hugged me close to him, his huge orange wings wrapped around us both, surrounding us in a cocoon of warmth and softness.

I curled up into a tight ball and nuzzled into his chest, breathing in his warm scent.  It flooded my senses as I fell asleep.

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Holy carp, 5 chapter in one day!  I'm so proud of myself!  Anyways, leave a vote, comment, and/or a follow!  Thanks guys!

(Word count: 1214)