The Wine in Your Thoughts

If i'm not ready to love again

My heart is weak. It's hard to resist what others had broken to pieces. It's hard to pull back all those infinite memories broken with my heart. What love made a mess out of me for you. A broken heart that we could have avoided.
I must admit that seeing you walk pass me by without even glancing in my direction, breaks this little heart a little more.
The memories we made just went to another planet. The laughs we used to share every night has been replaced with tears. How hard it is to keep going with a faith in love when all he does is break it. Hold it to the floor and I watch it vanishes just like a water drying.

When you have been replaced with someone else, your ignorance has become the least of my worries. Now you want to talk. Now you want to apologize. I can't help to be the one you broke and now you want to build me back with no pieces left. With no faith left in this heart. Just a cold emptiness that echoes.
Not wanting to remember what this heart felt several months ago. Not wanting to open another wound where the bigger ones hasn't healed at all.
It's sad to see when the one who want to love this heart unconditionally could not because of the wounds that are still open from your loss. It's hard to love again when you've been fooled so many times. It's hard to give yourself to someone else with the fear to be broken again. To shatter the rest of the pieces that are left for this heart.This heart has been cold for a reason. And he's in hope to melt it back for another chance. Another love story. Hopefully not a tragic one. One filled with good intentions. What he doesn't know is, that ice on this heart still has a name on it. If it melts it's another winter. It's like opening back something that has been kept frozen for months that this heart was avoiding to feel again.
When you walk by, he holds me to make sure you are not going to hurt me again. But, how am I supposed to love again when there is still little flames on my heart from your presence. A flame that every time this heart sees you it starts to melt the ice that I built around it for you.
How am I supposed to love again if I'm not ready to love again because of you? Because of the past. Because of our past.
This heart is hard to love again when there is still ice on it. But, if I'm not ready to love again, he promised to keep himself up until I'm ready to love again.
-🍷💭