Opalescent

Chapter 10: Alexandrite

• -Ollie- •

My heart hurt seeing her this vulnerable. She always had her guards up, a wall so high I doubt anyone has ever climbed over, but here she is now in front of me shedding, heartbreaking tears. She looked so innocent and yet so anguished.

I was now sat in front of her staring at her downcast, unblinking eyes. Oh, what'd I do to see what's going on in her brain right now.

"Did something happen?" I ask, hoping to get a reaction, but she just stares at the ground, her whole body seeming to be curled in on itself. Her walls forming once again.

She hesitates, frozen in place, before she reluctantly nods. I felt my heart ache as I felt the urge to pull her into a hug and take all the pain away. I felt like I owed her that much at the least.

"I'm okay though." She seemed in deep thought, even now in front of me.

I knew better than to just take her words straight away. She wasn't okay, she was hurting, and I hated that. She deserved too much good to feel so bad.

Her front teeth catch her bottom lip as she finally breaks down again, her tears fell once again and a small, soft sob leaves her. That one sob enough to break my heart. Her arms gather around her legs pulling them closer to her and her face buries between the space of her knees and chest.

"I'm s-sorry. You should just leave me, Ollie. I can't. I can't anymore," she cries out.

I didn't know what to do. My body started acting without my consent as it moves closer to hers, one of my arms curling around her back, as my hand tries to calm her down by rubbing the center of her back, where her spine would be, in soft circles.

"It's okay. Ollie's here now. You can tell me. It's okay."

I've never seen her so emotionally naked. She always had about a million walls and layers standing between us. It was just the slightest bit refreshing and a whole lot terrifying. I had no clue how to help. My first instinct is to tell her to tell me what's bothering her so I could see how to assist her best. I liked her far too much to leave her. I wouldn't use the word love but somewhere deep in me knew it was somehow just that.

"He tried, Ollie. I was awful. I hate it. I hate myself," she sobs, and latches her arms around me.

"Calm down. Shh. O-Ollie is here. I'm here now." I snuggle her closer to my body, hoping to help, but she was still in a heap of tears.

"I'm sorry, you had to see me like this," she whispers, her arms clinging tighter around me, almost in an apologetic way.

"It's okay. Ollie just wants you to be happy." I try to rub her back in soft, small circles hoping to make her ease. Thankfully she does, her body relaxing against mine as she softly whimpers, still very clearly upset.

"Why are you so nice to me? We've never really talked before and yet you're just.. so nice," she asks, her head still dug into the curve of my neck.

I couldn't tell her that I've like for practically the entirety of our lives, at least since that day, that she most likely forgot about because to her she was just doing the right thing but to me it made all those none ending nights of tears become nights that I could live through, so instead I snuck a kiss on the cold skin where her neck met her jaw and cuddled her closer. Her body seemed to tense in surprise at the action before melting like chocolate into mine.

"Let's- let's go to Ollie house. It's cold. Too cold," I say, virtually shaking.

"Okay," she whispers.

I stand up first, my hand automatically opening out for her to help her stand up. Once she's up, I plant my hands on her cheeks, wiping the apples of her cheeks with my thumbs, removing any sign of tears. I gave her a weak smile, which she reciprocates, and guided her down the vague path we both took in entering the woods of our neighborhood.

We walk side by side down the sidewalk, houses that somehow managed to all look quite alike passing by us. The sounds of cars slipping past us on the road was all we heard, because neither of us knew what to say but her presences spoke volumes to me.

We never normally do things together. It only recently became an occurrence, so all the time we spent together meant a lot more to me than it seemed to for her, but I didn't really mind. I knew from the beginning she would never be mine and yet I will still always be completely hers.

From my peripheral vision, I watched her wipe away tears that fell without warning. My heart ached for her. She was so sweet and innocent, she deserved none of this. Whomever made her so upset deserved nothing but pain.

I didn't say anything. Instead, my hand reached for hands softly, not wanting to hurt her in any way.

She looked up in unease, clearly unsure of what was happening. Part of me felt like I was intruding and making her day worse. I couldn't figure what she wanted.

Her eyes seemed to look for something in mine, and when she didn't find anything her body seemed to relax and her hand stayed held in mine.