The Cliche Gone Wrong

Chapter Thirty-eight

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" My coach's voice is practically a screech as he slams his clipboard down onto the field. "What the hell are you doing Shills?"

All of us stutter to a stop, abandoning the drill partially completed. I suck in breath after breath, bracing my hands on my knees as I wait for whatever harsh words my coach has for me. But I'm not expecting large hands to yank me upright and pull me forward.

My coach's hands are gripping my jersey tightly as he nearly holds me off the ground so that I am nose to nose with his 6 foot 2 frame. "What the hell do you think you're doing kid?"

I sputter out an answer, used to his anger but not used to it being directed at me. But it feels like its been aimed my way more and more often over the past few weeks.

"First you forgot your gear at home so you had to borrow from a freshman. Then you've dropped the ball every goddamn time someone passes it to you!" His face nearly turns red as he continues to scream into my face. "I say right, you go left! I say pass to center middie; you skip to left attackman! Are you just trying to piss me off?"

My teammates pretend they aren't listening to me get reamed out by coach, but I'm sure they feel as awkward as I do. Or maybe they're happy that I'm getting knocked down a few pegs. I don't even know what's wrong with me. It's like...like I don't have any control over my body, or anything else in my life for that matter.

Coach takes a deep breath before he sets me back on the ground and lets go of my jersey. He places a hand on my shoulder and starts to walk me off the field, yelling for the rest of the players to start the drill over as we walk over to the bench on the sideline. He gestures for me to take a seat and I do so gratefully, slumping down onto the bench and burying my face in my hands.

"What's going on, Jude?" He asks as quietly as he sits beside me.
"Nothing Coach," I insist, dragging my hands over my face before I look up to stare out at the field. "I guess I'm just distracted."

"Well I can't have the captain of my team messing up like this." He leans back to stare up at the grisly sky, shaking his head back and forth. "What kind of example are you to the rest of the team? So I don't know what you need to do to stop being this distracted, but you need to take care of it."

"You're a solid player, Jude. But the season opener is in 6 weeks and I can't afford to change my line up last minute." He stands up, stretching his arms above his head as he frowns down at me. "So I'll give you until Monday to get yourself together. If you aren't back to normal by then..."

Coach doesn't even finish the threat, letting his sentence trail off as he looks at me with eyes full of pity. I watch him walk back onto the field, blowing his whistle as he starts to direct the team to run a different formation. I yank off my helmet angrily as I start to walk back to the locker room, knowing there's no point in sticking around to watch them run around the field.

I push into the cold and empty room, unlocking my locker before I change out of this borrowed practice jersey and into the grey sweatpants and black hoodie I brought from home. I drop the jersey onto the bench, knowing the freshman will grab it after practice. Then I grab my backpack and slide it onto my shoulders before I follow it with me Nike gym bag, and leave the locker room, walking back to my car.

Once I toss my bags into the trunk I just sit in the driver's seat, trying to figure out what the hell to do. I can't let Coach take me off the starting line up. Lacrosse is pretty much all I have left. It's one of the few things that I'm actually good at, that wasn't handed to me just by being the son of Nathaniel Shills. I can't fuck this up too.

I bang my fist against the wheel once before I lean my head back against the headrest, trying to figure out what the hell to do. Is there even anything I can do? Not wanting to sit here in this parking lot anymore I turn on the car. I zone out as I drive out of the parking lot and onto the main street, thinking of the different things I can do before Monday to make sure I don't get demoted.