Wish You Were Here - Part 2

Chapter 20

HARRY'S POV

(Note flashback to: )
NOVEMBER

I think this must be what it feels like to die.  It's been eleven days since I spoke to Olivia.  It took Tyler just a couple of hours to confirm she had moved out of our home and into Bec's. I've called her 286 times, now only hearing a robotic automated message since she changed her number or blocked mine 179 calls ago. I've been awake for thirty seven hours since I slept last for a measly three hours, replaying every perfect memory of us together over in my head, trying to will her see that I never gave her a reason to believe this. 

She thinks I don't love her.

She is wrong.

I feel like everything is heightened, I can't hear a song, watch a movie, even be around people without something reminding me of her, bringing every emotion I have been trying to control come surging to the surface and making it difficult to get through each miserable day.

This was her biggest fear, the reason she held back from me for so long and now she feels completely betrayed.

She is wrong.

The part concerning me the most is that I can't stop crying.  It's as if there is no other way to process the earth shattering grief I feel.  I'm drowning with pain and that's the way I'm going to stay.  I'm taking comfort in knowing if I stay like this forever the fear of her disappearing further away from me will never take over.

My eyes shut and I remember the day that changed everything.  I had told Tyler I was stepping out alone to meet a friend who was in town, a mate I hadn't seen in years.  Just as I got to the tiny, secluded cafe he text me to say he had to cancel.  I rolled my eyes and turned on my heel to leave, wondering if I could get back to the hotel in time to call Olivia before she went to sleep and really not in the mood to sit and have lunch by myself.

"Harry?" I heard someone call, stopping dead in my tracks as I realised who the voice belonged to.

"Adriana, you shouldn't be anywhere near me." I warn, putting my hand out, knowing the ongoing court case against her and John, my ex-management was sensitive and I didn't want anything to jeopardising it.

"Harry please, just give me two minutes, I need to tell you something important about John.  I can't tell you over the phone... just incase."  She begs and I lick my lips and adjust my sunglasses before taking a step towards her.

"Thank you," she whispered and I raised my eyebrows as a reminder to be quick.

"Look, I never wanted to be part of any of this, the microphone, feeding the press, none of it! John, h-he forced me, you don't understand Harry, I needed that job and he threatened to fire me if I didn't do it. Do you know how hard it is to find a job in this industry?"  Her voice was trembling and she was on the verge of tears.  The pained expression in her eyes made me feel actually sorry for the girl who I had become quite close to over the time she worked with me.

"I loved you, Harry," she whispered. "You knew that, I never wanted to do anything to hurt you." She looks into my eyes and all I see is a lost, broken girl who got lead down the wrong path

"I'm going to stand up against John in court, I've got my own lawyer. I just wanted you to know how sorry I am." She breathes in a shaky breathe and I do the same.

As a lonely tear falls down her face I do the thing I will probably regret for the rest of my life.  I wrap my arms around her and I hug her. 

She whispers something inaudible in my ear and as I start to pull back to ask her what she said I feel her hands on my cheeks and her lips pressing into mine.

It was a split second, a fraction of a moment, before my body responded and pushed her away from me.

"What the fuck, Adriana!" I start to yell and run a hand through my hair as I spot two fans walking towards me. 

"I'm sorry, Harry." She whispered again and ran off, leaving me to deal with the two overly excited girls in front of me, my mind spinning from what just happened, just thankful no photographers were around.

I didn't want Liv to worry about stupid, insignificant bullshit. She had finally started opening up to me in a way I believe is foreign even to her and I thought if I keep as much of this ridiculous drama out of her life as possible then I think she will start talking to me like she did with Emma. I need to be the person to fill that void in her life.

Of course I would never cheat on her. She knows me, better than anyone, how could she think I would do this to her?

She is wrong.

I've been trying to get to her through our friends, calling everyone possible, even her parents, in an attempt to explain this all to her but the girls are fiercely protecting their friend. 

I saw the photo online for myself and I hate to admit that I understand why they would be guarding her from me. The fact I was hugging Adriana made it genuinely look like there was no room for any alternative explanation.  But it's not what it looks like. 

The guys understand, listening to my side of the story and trying desperately to explain it to Olivia but nothing's worked so far.

I need to get home, I need to see her, I need to stop this hole in my heart from expanding any further.  I can't eat, I can't sleep. I've been floating through interviews and press commitments like a zombie and I am sure it's only a matter of time before rumours start flying around that I am drinking again. The truth is no drug is strong enough to mask this pain and even if there was I wouldn't take it, I don't want to forget her, not even for a moment.   

She has to know this is real.  How could she believe I would ever want anyone other than her?

She is wrong.

A/N:
Wishing everyone a great, fun New Year's Eve!
Be safe!!!
Love Ruby xx