NUMB

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I woke up in a large, soft bed. I have been at Wayne Manor for a week. Any other time I would have been ecstatic to be here, with Dick getting to know him, and where he had grown up since his our parents died, but right now all I felt was numb.

Ever since the conversation with my Mom and Dad. I broke down on Dick but since then I just couldn't seem to gather the energy to feel anything. She was supposed to accept me. Why didn't she? She said at the hospital it didn't matter, that she loved me anyway. How could she call me a freak? I thought....... why? why? why? Everything was fine until Vlad decided to summon that Di-Jinn, he summoned it because the League was coming to town, the League came to town because.......

I decided it was time to get up and try to forget the endless loop my mind wanted to take anytime I stopped to think. I went to the dining room where Alfred had an entire spread set out of breakfast food. Mr. Wayne and Dicks brothers Tim and Damien were already sitting at the table. Alfred gave me a kind smile and asks "Ah, Master Daniel, would you like some orange juice?" I give him a polite smile in return that I'm sure doesn't reach my eyes and say "yes, please." Tim looks up, glances at me just to look away quickly but not before I see the concern in his eyes. I don't say anything to him, I just turn to the plate Alfred puts in front of me and start eating. I can't even muster up the energy to feel bad about it. The seventeen year old has been trying to talk to me since I got here, he's been nothing but kind and patient, I just don't want to talk with anyone about anything right now.

Damien looks up at me with a glare, scoffs and goes back to his breakfast. I might have found the twelve year olds attitude toward me offensive, but at this point I just don't care. I don't know what I did to offend the kid, but he really doesn't like me.

Dick came downstairs at that moment and sits down. He looks at me with a smile and says "Morning Danny." "Sleep well?" I feel anger sweep through me, I'm not really sure why I'm angry, though. I don't answer Dick verbally, I just give a nod in his direction. I can see Dick look at Bruce out of the corner of my eye, they seem to be having a silent conversation.

They must come to a decision because Bruce takes a breath and says "Danny, I've been talking to your father, he and your sister and your friends will be coming to the Manor in two weeks." I ask softly "my Mom isn't coming?" He shakes his head reluctantly. I try to show some enthusiasm for their visit, but fail miserably. I look up at him with a blank look and say a subdued "thank you." "May I be excused?" He nods. I stand and take my dishes to the kitchen and head back up to my room.

I go through my morning routine, everything is just mechanical by now. I step back out of my room to head to the gardens, I felt most at peace there, when I stepped through the doorway I almost run into Damien. He looks at me and turns his nose up, and says "I don't know why Father and Grayson are going so out of the way for you, your so pathetic." "You walk around here like some kind of ghost." Oh, the irony, I thought to myself. Unfortunately for both of us Damien wasn't done "so your mom yelled at you and called you a freak." I felt my eyes flash green, you don't know anything "MY Mom tried to take over the world and kill me." I felt a flash of pity for the kid, but it was swept away by what he said next "the only reason Grayson bothers with you is because you share blood, at least he has one brother worthy of his time." If I was in a better frame of mind I would have recognized his words for what they were, a kid worried he was going to lose his big brother to the biological brother. If I wasn't so caught up in my own head I would have been able to reassure Damien that Dick was more than capable of loving us all, Tim and Jason included.

Instead all I could feel was furious at the world and bitter about my life having caved in around me. The more Damien kept talking the madder I got. I could feel pressure start to build in my head, until finally it built up until it was unbearable and shouted "Shut up!" at the same time I shouted a picture on the wall shattered and fell. The pressure was gone though. I stared at the picture unsure as to what had happened. I can hear footsteps running up the stairs. Bruce and Dick come around the corner and into the hallway we are standing in. Bruce looks at me and Damien then looks at the picture on the floor. I start to apologize sure the broken picture is my fault somehow, not entirely sure why or how it happened, but sure it was me non the less.

Dick beats me to it though, he says "look guys I know, things are difficult right now, but couldn't you at least try to get along?" I don't know why but I completely lose it, and start shouting "shut up!" "What do you know?" "Vlad would have never summoned that Di-jinn if you hadn't got the League involved with my town!" The whole time I'm yelling at him, he just takes it with a hurt look in his eyes. I can feel the same pressure as before building in my head. I keep shouting and end with "it's all your fault!" At the same time the pressure has built up again and with my final shout I take the pressure and 'push' sending them all flying into the walls with hard thumps.

I stand in there in shock with a horrified look on my face breathing hard. Bruce is the first to stand, he reaches his hand out. I take a step back and shake my head and stutter out "I don't.... I didn't mean.... I'm sorry." I look at Dick as he slowly makes it to his feet and whisper "I'm so sorry."

I transform and turn invisible and intangible and fly as fast as I can away from the Manor. It was a cowardly move. I was just to ashamed and horrified by what I had done to stay and face them. I had never lashed out with my power in anger against humans before. The one time I hurt Tucker right after learning how to shoot ecto blasts hadn't even been out of anger, that was just an accident. Oh God, Dan was right he is inevitable, I'm a terrible person. Maybe I should let my Mom run those test and see of she can make me normal again, before I really hurt someone. The whole time I was panicking I was flying closer to Gotham. I decided to land on one of the docks and watch the water.

I was careful to stay invisible, I didn't want to take the chance someone might get suspicious of Phantom being in Gotham and start making connections. It was one thing when I just had to worry about my own identity, it's another to have to worry about exposing the Bat family. I stay there and watch the boats come and go for awhile, and just let my mind wonder. Eventually I decide it's time to head back and apologize for what I did and said. I also decided to tell them about my decision to get rid of my powers, I decided to tell them why, just in case something were to happen and I still ended up going dark-side on them.

Bruce would probably agree with me, I know he has contingency plans in place in case the rest of the League were to fall off the right path. Dick might try to fight me on it, well maybe not after what I did today.

I stand up and stretch out to get rid of the stiffness. I take off into the air still invisible, trying to savor the feeling as much as possible since this may be one of the last times I get to fly under my own power. I'm heading back over Gotham when I hear a whistling sound. I only have a second to wonder what it is when I feel something wrap around the lower part of my right leg, then shock me back into my human form. Thankfully I close enough to a roof to roll and land without causing myself serious injury. The steel cord wrapped around my leg has cut into it causing it to bleed. I'm still disoriented from being shocked and the fall, but have enough wit to pull the hood of my hoodie up, and to put the sunglasses on that I had left in my pocket this morning.

I hear several people surround me on the roof, I look up and to my horror see GIW agents closing in on me. As they get closer all I can think about, my only regret is that I'm not going to be able to apologize to Dick for what I said.

I'm so sorry Dick, I didn't mean it.


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