Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places (ON HOLD)

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

I woke up slowly to find myself lying on my bed. Wondering how I got there I looked down to make sure I was still wearing the same clothes and for once I was. I saw the bandages on my wrist so I knew that the nightmare I had was real.

I got up and went to the bathroom to clean myself up. I turned the shower on and made sure only the hot water was on. I knew this was going to hurt me but I felt so dirty and I needed to feel clean again. How could I have let Darren treat me like that? I left my pack because they had been abusive and hateful towards me so how could I have let it happen all over again?

I put my hands on the wall and just let the hot water run over me till I could feel the burning of my skin. I would have stayed like that to but the next thing I knew hands were grabing at me. Maybe Darren wasn't dead like they said. I started to scream but familiar words came at me.

"Lizzy you need to calm down."

I had heard that voice somewhere. I knew it almost as good as I knew myself. But it wasn't possible, he was dead my parents showed me the pictures and no one could survive that. But I had to open my eyes to see. But I was so scared that if I did he would disappear.

I slowly opened my eyes and turned around and there he was. It truly was my brother.

"Now I'm going to slowly let you down alright sis." He said like it was no big deal.

He brought me back to my bedroom and sat me down on my bed. Then turned around and went to my dresser and grabbed my pajamas and threw them at me.

"I'll turn around you get dressed." He said again like this happened every day.

I dried myself off and got dressed. I had no idea why I was following every single thing he said but I knew that if I wanted answers I had to be calm and collected. I finished getting dressed and walked up to him, I think I was still in shock because the Lizzy I was before would have never laid a hand anyone much less my beloved brother. He was the one who I looked up to, the one that always protected me from the others, the one that abandoned me when I was eight years old.

It was like I was watching myself do all this. I was screaming at myself to stop but it was like I was possessed by my anger and my hatred at him. He left me there to get beat every day, sometimes they would lock me up in my room and leave me there with no food or water for days.

I saw my hand move towards him, it landed on his shoulder.

"Im dressed." I heard myself say.

I watched as he turned around and look at me.

There were tears in his eyes as he looked at me. I watched as my hand flew up and smacked him across the face. I saw my hand print on his face and that's when I finally was able to control my body again. I was myself once more. I took one last look at him. He still looked the same as he did seven years ago when I saw him leave the house for the last time.

*Flash back*

"Please Derek, do not leave me here. Take me with you brother." I begged.

"Don't worry kiddo I'll be back before you know it." He laughed as he was walking away.

I chased after him and grabbed him screaming at him not to leave there all by myself.

My mother grabbed me off of him and threw me across the room.

"Derek I don't know why you put up with that vile thing dear. I'm pretty sure you're glad to be leaving just to get away from her." My mother said with and evil look in her eyes.

I got up crying looking at him begging him with my eyes not to leave me here alone with no one to protect me. But he looked at me and I could see the pity in his eyes as he looked away from me.

"Be nice to her mama, love you both and I'll see you soon." He said as he walked out the door for the last time.

And it was two weeks later that my mother would come into my room and throw the pictures at me.

"Are you happy now? It's all your fault he's dead. He left because of you and now he's never coming back."

She was screaming those words at me over and over again as she was hitting me with my father's belt.

It was that day I lost hope, I lost faith, and I learned to hate with everything in me.

I shook my head trying to forget the past. I looked at my brother who was standing in front of me at 6 foot 3 weighing 190 pounds of pure muscle. He had his black hair cut short in the back but it was a little bit long in the front. But it was always his eyes that made me feel safe. They were a bright blue, that they reminded me of sapphires. He was the only one in my family that ever held any warmth in them.

I started to shake, feeling all the hatred towards my family and my pack coming back. Afraid I would do something I would later regret I looked at him with everything I was feeling and said.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND NEVER COME BACK AGAIN."

I screamed it at him.

He looked shocked at first, then hurt, and then he got a determined look in his eyes.

"I will leave for now, but I will be back and then we will talk." He spoke so softly.

At first I didn't think he had said anything but I saw his mouth move and I knew he spoke the truth. HE would be back and I would get answers but right at this moment I couldn't deal with it. And once again I saw him turn around and leave me standing there in tears.