I know you've got the best intentions
Just trying to find the right words to say
I promise I already learned my lesson
But right now, I want to be not okay
I'm so tired, sitting here waiting
If I hear one more "Just be patient"
It's always gonna stay the same
So, let me just give up
So, let me just let go
If this isn't good for me, well I don't wanna know
Let me just stop trying
Let me just stop fighting
I don't want your good advice or reasons why I'm alright
You don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like
Can't stop these feet from sinking
And it's starting to show on me
You're staring while I'm blinking
But just don't tell me what you see
I'm so over all this bad luck
Hearing one more "Keep your head up"
Is it ever gonna change
So, let me just give up
So, let me just let go
If this isn't good for me, well I don't wanna know
Let me just stop trying
Let me just stop fighting
I don't want your good advice, or reasons why I'm alright
You don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like
Don't look at me like that
Just like you understand
Don't try to pull me back
Let me just give up
Let me just let go
If this isn't good for me I don't wanna know
Let me just stop trying
Let me just stop fighting
I don't want your good advice or reasons why I'm alright
You don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like
You don't know
You don't know
You don't know
You don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like
You don't know
You don't know
You don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like
~~~
Isn't it interesting how when I tell people about my Nyctophobia and hallucinations/illusions that come with it, they just reply with "It'll eventually just go away".
No it fucking won't. Not when every damned time I'm in darkness I see hallucinations or illusions of silhouettes of people right in front of me, or hear things that nobody else hears, or see shadows on walls that aren't mine nor anyone i know's shadow.
You think my Nyctophobia will go away when it makes me almost lose my fucking sanity!?
It's why I always have three lights on in my room and two at the other place I stay at.
To keep myself from having hallucinations.
But you know another shitty thing about it?
It takes so long for me to fall asleep because my brain thinks it's morning when so many lights are on and I can't close my eyes 'cause then everything turns dark.
I have to wait for such a long time just to fall asleep because my damned Nyctophobia won't let me sleep in darkness.
And to those people who wonder if we're just afraid of being alone in the dark or night
We're not!
We're afraid we're not alone and that somebody's watching us.
And fun fact: It's difficult to fight back in darkness!
