[Hellion Brothers: Book #1] Hellion Brothers

45: Sleepless

I kept on staring at the ceiling, still unable to sleep. I listened to the peaceful silence of the night. All of the boys are most probably already asleep. I sighed once again and decided to look at the wall instead. Ever since that Gwen-incident, I found myself having difficulty sleeping. A lot of things were bothering my head.

One; things have grown awkward between Kai and I. He probably knew I wasn't happy being forced to separate from Gwen, so he decided to avoid me at all costs. Honestly, I think he's doing the right thing because I think I'm still scared of him.

Two; I still have this guilt since we're basically keeping a huge secret from Tao. Yes, though he has noticed the coldness between Kai and I, nobody told him about what's really happening. I feel like I'm betraying him in a way.

And three; I think I made a promise to Baekhyun and Sehun that I couldn't fulfill. I don't think I can just sit around while there's this part of my brain saying that I still have to help Gwen. She's still unhappy, even though I promised her that I would make her happy by being my friend. Yet, I only made things worse.

I checked my phone to check the time. It's already 2 a.m. I guess I'm starting to become an insomniac. Sighing, I just opened random apps knowing that I wouldn't be able to sleep anymore. Somehow, I came across Gwen's past messages.

I glanced at Tao and Kai. Fast asleep. I took a deep breath, and opened our last conversation. It's been from a long time, so the feeling of nostalgia was strong.

[Unnie, I can't sleep. Can u help me? :C]

[Hve u tried counting sheep?]

[We don't have sheep...]

[Ah, I knw. Roll on ur bed 50 times & yell EXPECTO PATRONUM!! Every 5 rolls. Wait til someone gets pissed and punch u to sleep. 100% guaranteed to work.]

I covered my mouth to suppress my laugh. I remember that night. I liked the idea so much that I almost actually tried it. Good thing I got exhausted in laughing and immediately fell asleep.

As I read the message over and over again, I slowly felt this sting in my eyes, and realized that I was actually crying while laughing. I quickly wiped the tears away and sat up. This won't do. Crying wouldn't bring me anywhere. I have to keep my head together if I don't want to fall into a state of depression. I can't be a bothersome any more than I already am.

I headed towards the kitchen and decided to grab a glass of water. I placed the cold glass against my puffy eyes, before finally drinking all of it in one go. I carefully placed the glass back in the shelf, making sure not to make any noise. But as I turned around, I almost got a heart attack as a tall shadow stood right in front of me.

"Oh my god Tao..." I leaned on the sink for support as my legs turned to noodles. "Don't ever scare me like that again."

I rubbed my chest in an effort to calm my jumping heart. He just stared for a second, before opening the fridge to get his own water. When the light of the fridge shone on his face for a second, I realized that his eyes looked puffy as well. Like he haven't slept for a while.

"You can't sleep?" I carefully asked as I slowly made a 5-foot distance between us. He stared at me by the rim of the glasses as he spoke.

"How can I sleep when you can't sleep?" He leaned on the sink and ran a hand through his hair, sighing. "I don't know what's happening between you and Kai, but if it's still unresolved by 3 days, then I suppose it's really bad."

"We'll fix it soon... we'll be okay."  I mumbled, wincing at the blatant lie. I heard footsteps, and I looked up only to realize that he was now just a foot away. He looked straight down at me, trying to search for my eyes.

"I don't want to meddle with your problem, but I can't just stand around and watch while you slowly become a zombie." He gently ran a thumb over my eye bags. I didn't dare look up, afraid that he'll see in my eyes the secret I'm keeping from him. "Am I allowed to know what's troubling you?"

Biting my lip, I slowly shook my head. His hand dropped, and I almost could feel his disappointment. He suddenly pulled me into a soft hug.

"If ever you need me, you know I'm always right here." I remained silent, secretly admiring this comforting warmth he's giving me. Somehow, in his arms, I felt like I didn't need anything more. Like I could just cry my heart out and he'll understand why even without any words. It's like...

...everything fits.

"Tao?" I shyly mumbled, keeping my hands locked around his waist as I was afraid he would let go. Fortunately, he let me be and kept his chin on top of my head.

"Hm?"

"If... If I become a reason to ruin your friendship, would you..." I tried to swallow back the threatening tears. "Would you reject me and pretend that I don't exist?"

I felt his breathing stop. He didn't move; he didn't let go. Even though he said nothing, I knew that he understood why I asked that. After a while, his hug tightened, and he lowered his head to set a chaste kiss on my neck.

"No, Maeji. I will never reject you. Never."

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[A/N]: Aww, Tao is so sweet. :')