The Last Touch #3

15

Eli

Her question stilled me. The hand going through her hair froze.

Why do you hate being called your full name?.

I'm sure she could feel how tense I was but she kept playing with my nipple and I slowly,deliberately relaxed my body.

I opened my mouth intending to tell her it was too personal but words just spilled out.

"When I was young everyone called me Elijah. My dad believed in God, went to church regularly, he said he related with the story of Elijah so he named his son after him.

"I grew up in London, and while we weren't rich we weren't poor either. Dad had a hardware store and Mom was a florist. Everything was good, we were happy."

My stomach churned and I licked my chapped lips before continuing "When I was thirteen dad's store was robbed and he got killed in the process. Mom mourned for two months but she bounced right back. She got stronger.

"When I was eighteen I was celebrating getting into Yale with my mom and a couple of friends. Mom was going to pick me up because I planned to get drunk. On our way back we had an accident. A man was driving a truck while drunk. He came straight at us, Mom saw him and tried to swerve but it was too late. He hit the driver's side brutally so Mom was severely injured while I only had a few scratches. Do you know how long it takes to die once your heart stops beating?" I asked hoarsely.

"No" she said her voice thick.

"Ninety seconds. After calling nine-one-one I had Mom cradled in my arms. Her heart stopped in my arms but she was still breathing, was smiling at me and telling me to be strong. She said 'Elijah honey I'm so proud of you. Your dad and I will always love you.' I counted the seconds in my head while i was crying. She died two minutes before the ambulance got to us but it was too late."

"Oh Eli."

"Do you know what I regret most?" I asked. I couldn't help it,now that I've finally opened up I couldn't seem to stop.

"That you weren't the one driving?"

"No. That the final ninety seconds I had with her I'd told her I loved her but I was too busy yelling at her not to leave me"

She hugged my side tightly "she knew you loved her. She must have."

I shook my head "No. I always yelled at her about nagging me and not giving me enough space. I just wish..." my voice broke and I realised with dismay that I was crying.

She lifted a hand to wipe my tears "mothers know Eli. I'm sure, hundred percent positive that she knew you loved her."

"Really?"

"Really. I'm so sorry."

I shrugged and sat up with her in my arms "They already made a college fund for me since I was ten so college was no problem but I had a scholarship so I used the money for something else. Insurance covered her funeral. I made a resolution to my self when I got to college. I am Eli. Elijah was what I was known as during those first years of my life. It reminds me of my parents. Their unfair deaths."

Zoe pulled back from the tight grip I had her in and placed her hand so softly on my cheek.

"Eli. You said it yourself, you were happy. Even after your dad died your mom bounced back for you which couldn't have been easy but she did it because she knew you needed her and she was there for you. Even when she was dying her main concern was you. I don't think she'd want you to associate your name -a name your dad gave you in love because of someone he relates with- with their deaths.