My dad was leaving again today. I wish he'd stay. I wish he'd realize that everyone's happier when he's home but he's never home to know that when he's gone we barely even talk to each other.
When he's gone the only time we spend time together is when someone is feeling sad. Any other times we avoid each other. When he's home we come out though, mostly just to be around him as much as possible.
I didn't want him to go but I know I can't stop him. I've tried before but he just pries me off him and leaves anyway. Everytime I try to make him stay he says that work is important, work is more important is what he means.
yes he loves us, I just wish he valued us more. When he's home I pretend I'm not bothered by the fact that he's gone ninety seven percent of the time but when he leaves I cry. I cry because he doesn't care, it's all about what he wants it doesn't matter what I want.
If it we're up to me he'd be home all the time, spending time with his kids and wife, showing he actually cares, teaching us things, watching movies with us.
He doesn't want that though. He wants money. He wants nice cars and big homes. He wants expensive furniture and clothes. He wants to be able to buy anything he sees. Too bad he can't see how badly I wish things would change, Because maybe if he could he'd want it too.
I spent the night crying after Josh left, only because I tried to get my dad to do something with us kids after we went out for supper but only got a 'maybe next time I'm home I need to sleep so I can get up early for my flight'.
I messaged Josh early this morning asking him to come over. He did. My parents didn't know, they thought he came a few hours ago but he's really been here since like four. He spent the whole morning just laying in my bed with me.
Now we're sat at the top of the stairs. I stare down at my dad as he places his bags by the door, talking to my mom about something. Dried tears trailed down my cheeks.
My dad hugs each of my siblings then my mom. He turns to me and Josh. "See you later Tyler, Josh." He said waving to us. Josh waved back. I didn't.
My dad turned and opened the door, shutting it behind him once he was outside. I sprung up, running down the stairs. "Tyler!" Josh called after me. I jumped the last few steps and slid across the floor in my socks. I opened the door and ran out latching my arms around my dad's waist causing him to stop walking and turn to look at me.
He set his bags down, giving me a quick hug. "Okay bud, I gotta go, plane leaves soon." He said, trying to get me to let go. "No." I cried. "Tyler we're not doing this today." He said finally prying my arms away from him.
I fell backwards to the ground. "Tell your mother I'll call her when I land." He said picking up his bags. By now Josh was standing on the front porch along with the rest of my family, watching the scene unfold.
"No!" I yelled. "What do you want Tyler? Money? Do you need something? What do you need?" My dad asked, putting his bags in the trunk.
"A father." I said harshly pushing myself off the ground and heading back inside, pushing past my siblings. Yeah okay, maybe I have daddy issues but it's not my fault.
Josh follows me after a few seconds. I sat on my bed hugging my knees, sniffling. Josh came in and sat in front of me. I crawled over to him, hugging him.
There was a soft knock at the door, which was left partially open. "Tyler.." it's my dad. I sniffled, turning my face to hide in Josh's neck. "Don't you have a plane to catch?" I croaked.
He sighed. "Do you have a problem with me leaving?" He asked. "What was your first guess?" I sniffled again. "I know you want me home but this is my job Tyler, I need to get money to keep clothes on your back and food on the table." He said.
"Fuck money! I don't care about money, I don't want money. I'd be perfectly fine without any of this expensive unessacary shit." I said. "Language." He warned.
"What are you going to do about it? Mom let's me curse, mom let's us all curse. You know why?" I asked. "No." He said. "Cause she's not around either and she doesn't care. When you go so does she, so does everyone." I said.
"What do you mean?" He asked. "We're not a family unless your here and the odd time you are here your too busy getting ready to leave again to actually do anything with us." I said.
"I know and I'm sorry." He said. "No you're not. If you were sorry you would quit your job and get one where you can be home more then once in a month. You would put in effort to actually be a father but you don't. All you care about is how much is on your next pay check." I said.
"Tyl-"_" you can't buy happiness, you can't buy love. That shits earned." I cut him off. He sighed, pursing his lips. "I'll call my boss and tell him I can't make it." He said. I pulled away from Josh. "Really?" I asked.
He nodded. "Thank you." I whispered. "Come here." He said standing up. I slid off Josh's lap and hugged him.
